Telling the boss about baby

Take steps to ease transition at work

When Kristen Leo found out that she was pregnant, she envisioned sharing the news with her boss at about 12 or 13 weeks -- just about the time she would have to start wearing maternity clothes.

A medical complication forced her to change her plans.

"At nine weeks, I didn't have much of a choice," recalls Leo, 35, of Sturbridge, Mass., who had a scare that sent her to the doctor during a workday. "I had to leave the office immediately and had to tell him. I think he was surprised, but he handled it OK."

Telling your boss that you are pregnant can be nerve-racking in the best of circumstances. You're excited, but anxious about how it will affect your job. Chances are, your employer is thinking the same and wondering whether you will return to work.

Experts say the key is to know your rights, to understand your work culture and to show consideration toward your colleagues.

"Like any other strategic business conversation, you need to be prudent about thinking about how they're going to react, what concerns are they going to have, so that when you have this conversation, you can put those concerns at ease," said Marisa Thalberg, president of the networking group Executive Moms.

Here are some steps to get you started:

1. Get to know the Family and Medical Leave Act. In most cases, the law applies to people who have worked for at least a year at businesses employing more than 50 people. It can be used by either of a baby's parents and also applies to adoptive parents.

"Generally speaking, you have the right under federal law to have 12 weeks of unpaid family leave assuming you meet certain criteria," says Paul Mickey, an employment lawyer with Steptoe & Johnson in Washington.

The law requires employers to hold your job or a comparable one for you to return to, and continue your benefits as if you were still going to work, including health insurance. An employer cannot fire you for being pregnant, but if your department is eliminated while you are on leave, you can lose your job.

2. Next, Mickey says, find out what, if any, paid leave you are entitled to. Some employers give paternity leave to spouses of expectant mothers, so fathers and significant others should be sure to read their employee handbooks.

If you are a senior executive or work for a small company, the family leave act or other state or jurisdictional regulations may not apply, so you probably will have to negotiate with your boss.

3. Regardless of whether your workplace is covered by the family leave act, it is important to understand your work environment when deciding how or when to tell a manager that you're going to take leave.

Don't feel pressured to tell your boss immediately about a pregnancy. But Mickey cautions against waiting until you are really showing, or telling your colleagues first, as that could make your employer feel that you are being deceptive or playing games. This is not something your boss should learn at the water cooler.

4. Thalberg suggests preparing a transition plan to reassure your employer and make it easier on your colleagues. If you plan on returning to work, say so. Consider offering to remain available by phone while you are on leave, which sends the message that you are committed to the job.

"It's in your own best interests to handle this in as smooth a way as possible," Thalberg said.

Leo, the Sturbridge, Mass., mother, compiled a list of her responsibilities as an analyst for the school district she worked for in case she had to go out suddenly.

"Know your value and be as organized as possible," said Leo, who recently returned to work.