It's 'Cupid,' only dumber

In The CW's new dramedy "Valentine," supernatural beings descend from the heavens to help dumb mortals clear the self-imposed obstacles that prevent them from finding true love.

If that premise triggers your gag reflex right off the bat, this show is definitely not for you. If, however, you're still intrigued, read on, and I'll do my best to dissuade you.

The lighthearted setup of "Valentine" has Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love (Jaime Murray, last seen as a serial killer's groupie on "Dexter") posing as Grace, the matriarch of the Valentine family in the Hollywood Hills.

They're all Greek gods, of course, including muscleheaded Hercules/Leo (Robert Baker) and god of erotic love Eros/Danny (Kristoffer Polaha), the kind of jerk you'd expect to see in a Captain Morgan commercial. The family seer Phoebe (Autumn Reeser) scopes out their unwitting clients through an oracle pool that serves as a hotel room camera for the gods.

Basically, the Valentines run phony service businesses as an excuse to insinuate themselves in people's lives and help them find, y'know, that one true love that eludes them, for whatever reason. It sure ain't looks. (Why do pretty people have such difficult love lives on TV and in the movies?)

The job is so hard, the gods recruit earthly romance novelist Kate Providence (Christine Lakin) to help them figure out all this love stuff, which you'd think they'd have gotten the hang of after all these centuries. But no matter. For such ancient beings, they've mastered snarky modern-day lingo like "I just threw up in my mouth a little" (strangely, Aphrodite/Grace is the only god with a British accent).

For more laughs, they employ some cute shortcuts to loving feelings. Eros/Danny shoots people with his "love gun" (are the writers Kiss fans?) and Aphrodite/Grace recruits nonbeliever Kate with an, er, loving touch that brings her to, um, her senses.

It's all too cute. Really. Way too cute. For Sunday-night fare, I'd prefer to watch serial killer Dexter Morgan murder people on Showtime. In fact, I think I appreciate "Dexter" now more than ever.