Old, young want to claim Facebook

ATLANTA -- One of the first groups Becky Yarbrough joined after signing up for Facebook was something called "I am too old for Facebook -- but I don't care."

Actually, she did care.

"I was a little embarrassed at first about going on Facebook," the 45-year-old math tutor in Johns Creek, Ga., said. "I wondered whether I was just trying to look younger than I should."

But her slightly older friend Sandy was on Facebook. And another neighbor who was heading to Iraq for his second tour of duty had joined so he could stay in touch with loved ones back home. It seemed as if half the parents in Yarbrough's north Fulton subdivision were filling out Facebook profiles, much to the amusement and irritation of their children.

Like adults trying the Twist in an earlier time, growing numbers of grown-ups are discovering social networking sites. Facebook, founded four years ago in a Harvard dorm room, now counts 25-and-uppers as its hottest demographic group. MySpace, started in 2003 and long associated with gossiping adolescents, is expanding its older audience and attracting mature-minded advertisers such as Cartier. Almost half the unique visitors to both sites are 35 or older, according to comScore Media Metrix.

"Our culture is upside down," said Emory University English professor Mark Bauerlein, whose book "The Dumbest Generation" criticized young people for spending so much time on Facebook and MySpace. "Instead of youth emulating elders, more and more it's the reverse: elders emulating youths."

The graying of social networking was confirmed this summer when Aaron Sorkin, creator of TV's "The West Wing," went on Facebook to announce that he was researching a screenplay about Facebook.

His presumably younger assistant actually set up the page, Sorkin admitted, "because my grandmother has more Internet savvy than I do and she's been dead for 33 years."

There are dozens of social media sites (as academics call them) that allow users to form online communities and swap information. They include business networks such as LinkedIn, photo- and video-sharing sites such as Flickr and YouTube and microblogging utilities such as Twitter that let people post running accounts of their lives in text bursts that seem ridiculous to outsiders (I'm putting the spaghetti in the water ...).

Of all the sites, Facebook is the one many adults have found to be the easiest introduction to this strange world of instant intimacy.

Eric Cain, 54, a music teacher in Kennesaw, joined last fall to meet potential companions after his divorce. That's why he filled out 47 lines in his personal profile, spelling out his religious beliefs, musical tastes and favorite films ("all Elvis movies").

"I put it all out there, because I want to attract like-minded people," he said. "I'm looking for another Christian lady who likes to have fun."

Irritating the offspring

Karin Koser, 49, a public relations professional in Decatur, joined six months ago to keep tabs on her teenage daughter (who tweaked her by refusing to accept her request to become a "friend"). She soon discovered the PR possibilities of social media.

"I have one client, GreenBusiness Works Expo, that I put on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube," she said. "It's like sending a group e-mail."

Spanish teacher Rosemarie Ariez, 43, of Marietta switched from MySpace to Facebook recently because she found it easier to find former co-workers in Atlanta and classmates in her native Bolivia.

"Now I'm getting invited to be friends with people I don't know," she said. "It's silly."

Gerald M. Williams Jr. of Austell, 41, a claims examiner, got on Facebook to stay connected with his younger brother in Athens. Now he burns a couple of hours a day on the site, mostly communing with music and political groups. "My wife is giving me a hard time about all the time I spend on Facebook," he said. "She's got stuff for me to do."

One group Williams joined for laughs has a name that nails the shifting generational dynamics of social networking: "Adults are taking over Facebook! Send the kiddies off to MySpace!"

Many youngsters don't want them in either place.

Becky Yarbrough says her two teenage sons were peeved when she joined and made them accept her "friend" offers. Soon she discovered that her youngest, 13-year-old Jack, had gone to a movie she didn't approve of and that he was dating someone."It kind of annoys me that's she's on Facebook talking to my friends," he said.