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"It's not that men don't read. It's that they're not reading what's not interesting to them. These books have to use the language they use. You wouldn't write in Japanese to someone who speaks Spanish," says relationship author Jaci Rae.

Not that she agrees with the messages in those titles. Her book "Winning Points With the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time" marries relationship advice with football lingo to explain to men the mysteries of women and the ways of a healthy relationship.

"Men are supposed to be strong. They don't need to have all these emotions involved in what they do," Rae says. "And most books that deal with relationships deal with emotions. So men have no need for them."

Suffering in silence

Authors and publishers cite a host of reasons as to why women snap up these guides in greater numbers. For better or worse, generalization or not, women are more inclined to chat out their feelings, analyze every delicate detail of what makes relationships go wrong and go right.

"It's the sewing circle. There's this cultural thing. Women talk and they share. ... That's just what we do," said Alison Lawrence, co-author of "BitterGirl: Getting Over Getting Dumped" -- a breakup survival guide based on a play by the same name.

"For guys it's more: Suffer in silence, stiff upper lip, and you just get on with it," she says.

Lawrence illustrated the disparity this way: A while back two friends were in the midst of a breakup. The females in this circle of friends got together over a bottle of wine to laugh, cry and talk it through.

The men? They shared a bottle of scotch, watched the game and hit a bucket of balls. They never uttered a word about the breakup.

If women collect these books because they're prone to seeking guidance, authors say, men shun because they're notoriously disinclined to ask for direction -- whether on the road or in a relationship.

Back around the corner table at the Wood-n-Tap, Justin Gatti, 28, says he agrees with this thesis. When it comes to advice on women, he doesn't consult books or online advice columns. He may consult close friends. But mostly, "I just go from my own experiences. I live and learn through my own (screw-ups)," Gatti says over the din of booze-addled twentysomethings chatting and flirting.

Outside of that, men might pause on a magazine blurb about dating. They don't seek it out. It's more like picking up a magazine where, in one swift read, they can learn how to pump up their pecs and pleasure a woman. "Guys just have a shorter attention span," Gatti says between sips of beer.

Women, he asserts, get more invested in relationships, are intent to fix what's broken instead of letting go what may simply be damaged goods.

"Guys are more 'the grass is greener,' " he says, explaining that if a relationship isn't working, men will leave it behind for a better one.

"Girls seem like they'd rather stick out the relationship and try to make the brown grass greener."

Hunkered down barside at Vaughan's Public House in Hartford, Chip Grannis winces at the question of dating books.

"It's scary, because they sell," said Grannis, 26, a local bartender and bar manager. He said women should ease up, not take the dating scene so seriously. It's just dating -- a guy and a girl trying to get to know each other.

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