Never too young to care

Parents take children along when they volunteer

It wasn't a typical playground.

Boxes of instant powdered milk and cans of tuna subbed for slides and swings. Fluorescent lighting took the place of sunshine. And it was work -- not play -- that occupied the group.

Not that the four preschoolers helping their mothers organize food at Urban Ministries' food pantry knew that.

The kids stacked and sorted corn, beans and pasta for use by poor people. They slithered along the industrial shelving as they had fun helping others not so lucky.

And Elizabeth Jordan was happy.

Jordan, 36, organized last week's event as part of a Web site she recently launched, www.kidsconnectnc.org.

Essentially a clearinghouse for kid-friendly volunteer opportunities in the Triangle, Kids Connect also hosts events like the food pantry session. Every month, Kids Connect arranges volunteer gigs for families at various agencies including Habitat for Humanity and Meals on Wheels.

This is no slick, professional venture. It is Jordan on a mission to mold her son into a caring, thoughtful boy who will grow into a caring, thoughtful man.

"People say our generation is so selfish and doesn't care about other people," Jordan said. "I realized telling him wasn't going to do it. I had to show him."

The challenges for parents are significant: How do you teach gratitude without being preachy? How do you cultivate a sense of community and volunteerism in kids, particularly those who have everything they need and much of what they want? How do you help others with a rambunctious toddler in tow?

Jack's birth, 14 months ago, started Jordan wondering how to share with him the things she cares about. She came up with Kids Connect, and she has big dreams for the project.

The former nonprofit worker, who now stays at home with her son, has posted fliers at coffee shops, pediatricians' offices and bookstores. She updates the site when Jack is sleeping, stealing minutes while he naps. The amount of time she can devote to the project is sporadic, reflected in the handful of typos that dot the site.

She has included links to local service agencies including the Alliance of AIDS Services - Carolina and the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina and global agencies like Red Cross International and Save the Children. But she's also thinking more holistically.

Tagging along

There's no shortage of opportunities to volunteer for children -- tutoring elementary students, mentoring disadvantaged children -- but not as many ways to volunteer with children. Jordan wants to build a network of families who volunteer, educating parents and children in the process.

That the world includes kids in their own communities or other countries who don't have playrooms overflowing with toys, isn't always easy to understand, said Jenny Friedman, who wrote "The Busy Family's Guide to Volunteering."

Friedman backed into family volunteerism. A mother of three, she was working as a freelance writer. Life was good, really good, and she decided she needed to give back in some way. But she didn't want to pay for a baby sitter.

So she schlepped the kids along as she delivered meals to homebound people. "People were so much happier to see the kids than they were to see us," she said. "Then I realized it was good for the kids too."

The trips sparked conversations about diversity and privilege, the kinds of topics that don't percolate spontaneously. Her children encountered people of vastly different means and backgrounds. They asked questions. And they learned how to be compassionate.

It's a welcome lesson in today's consumer-saturated culture. "There are just more and more messages about materialism and entitlement," Friedman said. "This is a counter-message: Here are other ways to spend time and money."