There's a lot about life we don't get.

The TV show "Armed and Famous," for starters.

Or thong underwear.

Or SUVs.

And today's topic: America's obsession with celebrity.

Our story begins on a February night in 1971. Elvis Presley is performing at the old International Hotel (now the Hilton Hotel -- Las Vegas) when, during a particularly heartfelt belting out, The King becomes a little too gyrational and cracks a front tooth with his microphone.

Meanwhile, back in Memphis, Elvis' hometown, an alert dentist in the 430 Dermon Building has prepared for just such a scenario. Dr. Henry Weiss, Official Dentist to The King, had taken the precaution of creating a porcelain crown for Elvis' front tooth in the event The King whacked himself in the mouth with a mike.

Although peanut butter, mayonnaise and banana sandwiches are easily consumed without the aid of a front tooth -- or any teeth, for that matter -- Weiss' son, S. Lewis Weiss, secures the crown and catches the first flight for Vegas.

Flash-forward to Aug. 16, 1977, and The King's untimely demise, rendering the replacement crown no longer necessary.

Do you have a growing dread of where this might be headed?

On Monday, the so-called "King's Crown," as well as a model of Elvis' entire mouth, was put up for bid by the Weiss family on eBay. (It's unclear how the crown came to be back in the Weiss family's possession; unclear and, frankly, something we don't think we want clarified.)

As of Tuesday, two "fans" -- from the Latin "fanatic" -- had made bids.

The bid to top?

$1,025.

And because we know some of you -- we prefer not to know how many -- want to know, bidding ends Sunday.

At 7:24:31 Pacific Standard Time.