Magic noses out blue-collar wit

Who knew the twinkle-nosed witch had it in her? In a stunning first-round upset, Samantha Stevens clobbered Roseanne Conner in our bracket to pick the greatest TV character of all time. Stevens, a No. 14 seed, skipped by the '80s icon, only to get whupped in the next round by the '90s hairdo of Rachel Green. For the moment, "Friends" is sitting pretty in bracketland.

We tallied more than 900 ballots in this exercise of TV admiration. A few underdogs managed to make it to the rarefied air of the Sweet Sixteen, an experience they will one day surely share with their grandchildren.

Murphy Brown, a No. 5 seed, took down No. 4 Betty Suarez. Over in the male-drama category, Dr. Gregory House, a No. 6 seed, batted down No. 3 J.R. Ewing.

All of which helps set up intriguing battles for spots in the Elite Eight. Will the old-school charm of Mary Richards be enough to get by Green's famous hair? What about Barney Fife vs. Heathcliff Huxtable? We know who would win in a street fight (Barney has that bullet, after all) but the bracket winner is anybody's guess.

OK, it's not -- we already know the winner. But the results have been tucked away in a super-secret file.

We'll announce the Final Four on March 26 and the winner on April 2, the day of the NCAA National Championship Game.