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'Dirt' so good

Every so often, I needs me some sleaze. Some trash. Some "Dirt."

When "Friends" star Courteney Cox's new FX series about an ice queen running a Hollywood tabloid debuted in January, I gave it a noncommittal thumbs up, commenting that I found it "grim" and "humorless."

Boy, was I wrong. "Dirt" is full of winks and giggles, and refreshingly lacks the didactic tone of "Law & Order" (another "ripped-from-the-headlines" series) as it skewers the scuzz-ridden culture of Hollywood.

Tuesday's episode was particularly good: A fading starlet puts her own sex tape on the Web and claims someone else did it. She tries to revive her career by going the daytime talk-show route, earnestly portraying herself as a rape victim who was drugged by a fellow actor before the tape was made. The moment when cruel Lucy -- who has been having a fling with the starlet's boyfriend -- exposes the lie publicly, the disgraced actress' phones start ringing incessantly in a nightmarish, riveting scene.

The show's first season wraps up Tuesday at 10 p.m. with a guest appearance by fellow "Friends" alum Jennifer Aniston as a rival sleazemonger to Cox's Lucy Spiller.

That alone makes it must-see. But it also wraps up a seasonlong mystery: Who has been stalking Lucy and taking candid racy photos of her? If any "Dirt" fans have a guess, please share. I'm almost positive it's not Lucy's schizophrenic paparazzo Don Konkey, as Tuesday's episode led us to believe. That would be too easy. Right answer gets props in this column, as well as some sort of prize to be determined.

Cooler talk

Frank Twiddy of Garner wants to know what I think happened to Salma Hayek's man-eater character Sofia on "Ugly Betty." Sofia, you'll recall, publicly broke the heart of Betty's boss, Daniel Meade. She was last seen getting clobbered by Meade's former fling Amanda in the elevator at the Mode magazine office.

Frank wants to know: Is Salma/Sofia ever coming back?

I don't know, Frank. Hayek is pregnant, so unless "Ugly Betty" writers want to work a Daniel-as-babydaddy plot into the story -- and I hope they don't -- we probably won't be seeing the beautiful executive producer of "Betty" in the cast for a while.

Speaking of "Ugly Betty," I can't wait for tonight's episode, in which Wilhelmina's gay assistant, Marc, asks poor Betty to pose as his girlfriend to fool his mom, played by Patti LuPone. I'd love to hear some thoughts from "Ugly Betty" fans out there after it airs.

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