Recently, the Triangle's largest youth soccer league suspended five adults, including parents and coaches, from attending a game.

The suspensions stemmed from altercations at three games in the Capital Area Soccer League's Challenge division, a step up from the recreational level.

CASL officials said that in one case, spectators stood back and watched as a fight broke out among parents, leaving a youth referee to break it up.

So what makes a good soccer parent?

My kids have been fortunate to have been coached by two excellent CASL Challenge coaches, Rocky Bonawitz and Sean O'Boyle. They are good teachers of the game, as well as promoters of sportsmanship and teamwork. They also are parents who coach their own children.

Based on their comments and my own experiences in coaching youth soccer for 10 years, here are five tips for being a good soccer parent:

1. Don't offer specific instruction during the game. Let the coaches do that. Often, parents tell their kids to do something different from what the coaches want. "Not every parent understands what the team has done in practice and what they're trying to accomplish," O'Boyle said.

2. Do offer encouragement to your child during the game, but in a general way. You can say "good hustle," "good play," "good teamwork." You can cheer for the team. One of my favorite teams I coached, the Green Beans, inspired the excellent cheer of "Let's go Beans! Let's go Beans!" It's always good to applaud the kids' effort.

3. Do not talk to the referees or the other team's players, coaches or parents. This is where much of the ugliness arises. "There are going to be mistakes," Bonawitz said. "Refs are going to make mistakes. Coaches are going to make mistakes. It's part of the game. Learn to live with it."

Many of the referees are teenagers. They are learning, too. And no offense, parents, but a lot of you don't know much about soccer. You're better off keeping it to yourself. A loudmouthed soccer parent I knew long ago was smart enough to sit far away from the action, so no one could hear him.

4. If you want to work directly with your child, talk with your coach about drills you can try between practices. Practice in the backyard or organize an informal game of kids versus parents. It's hard to believe now, but back in the day, kids used to just go to fields and play. "Any time they can touch a ball in any form or fashion is good," Bonawitz said.

5. Help your child enjoy the experience of playing on a team. A very small percentage of youth soccer players will play in college. But they all will be working, playing and living with other people for the rest of their lives. Getting along with and enjoying soccer teammates isn't that much different from working together on projects at school, the office or a place of worship. Show your child how to work through differences and get along with other types of people.

"I'm trying to create a learning environment where they learn the fundamentals and have fun competing against other kids," O'Boyle said.

That is what it's all about. Don't spoil the fun.