Kyna Brookins was pretty excited about the building going up in her backyard. Several months earlier, she had asked husband Scott to build her a work shed. Nothing fancy, just a covered space where she could store her gardening tools, maybe do some potting. This 250-square-foot space she was looking at was three times what she was expecting. And it didn't just have a door, it had windows -- two! -- and looked like it would be fully wired.

"This is great," she said inspecting the work-in-progress.

Then she noticed a small, 4-foot-by-12 foot alcove walled off from the main room. "What's that?"

"That's your work shed," Scott answered.

Seemed the plan had changed. Kyna was going to get her work shed, but it would be a segmented portion of a larger, private sanctuary that Scott had been thinking about for a while now. It would be an addendum -- with separate entrance, of course -- to his man cave.

Now, according to Dr. Scott Haltzman, a Rhode Island psychiatrist and author of the just-released "Secrets of Happily Married Women," the appropriate response from Kyna would have been, "Good for you, dear. You need it. It's important for a man to have a place he can call his own."

And you know what? That's pretty much what Kyna said.

A very 2008 retreat

"Man cave" -- it sounds primitive. And it is, harking back to a time when walking upright meant you could get farther away from people, faster. But it's also very 2008, as an increasing number of guys are trying to carve out a space of their own in a home. Despite the adage that a man's house is his castle, it often has been the domain of a wife.

"Men often don't feel like they have a space in the household," Haltzman says. "I've heard countless stories of men who've had their posters and wall hangings systematically taken off the walls and replaced by impressionist paintings and other stuff.

"How many master bedrooms have lace throws over the bed or floral prints for bedspreads?" Haltzman asks. "What percentage of those do you think were picked out by guys?"

Batman had his Batcave; Superman, his Fortress of Solitude. Now, a mere mortal male can have his man cave.

There's a TV show about the retreats ("Man Caves," on the DIY cable network), and a recent poll by ServiceMagic.com (which matches remodeling-minded homeowners with contractors) found that 40 percent of respondents already had a man cave in their homes while 13 percent had one in the planning stages.

"It's something we're starting to see more of as the population gets older and the kids move out of the house," says John Sperath, president of Blue Ribbon Residential Construction in Raleigh.

Leon Shaw says his business, Audio Advice in Raleigh, also has seen increased man cave action.

"It might have a wine cellar and a cigar area, or a game area, or a pool table," he says. And it almost always has an entertainment center.

"The cool thing right now is a really good front projection home theater with good speakers," Shaw says. That alone could put a minimum $15,000 dent in your man cave budget. And that's not including the carpet or seats or soundproofing that goes with it.

Sperath says the whole shebang could easily run $40,000 to $70,000.

Tracing the primitive roots

At a time when houses are bigger than ever -- according to the National Association of Home Builders, the average house built in 2005 was 2,434 square feet, compared with 1,500 square feet in 1970 -- it seems there would be less need for retreat. With all that room, shouldn't a guy be able to find some space of his own?

No, says Scott Brookins.

On the surface, it may look as if Brookins' Holly Springs home has plenty of room. It's 3,550 square feet with five bedrooms and a bonus room. Even with three kids -- ages 14, 8 and 4 -- that still leaves space for a dedicated guest bedroom. Wouldn't there be enough space for an in-house man cave?

"My wife is a neatnik," Brookins says, getting to the point. "She doesn't mind people coming over, but 12 guys to watch the Super Bowl? Nah!"

Messy friends may be part of the reason Kyna Brookins supports the man cave. But she really does understand that hubby Scott needs his space.

"It's awesome," she says of the man cave. "And it's probably going to save our marriage." (Kyna, by the way, has a psychology degree and spent 10 years working in the mental health field.)

Haltzman, the psychiatrist and author, says history and biology support the man cave phenomenon.

"It goes back to our more primitive, behavioral roots," he says. "Women were the caretakers; they raised the children, and they needed a social circle to raise them."

Guys, on the other hand, were out hunting. "They did things better alone."

Fast forward to modern society, Haltzman says, and you'll find men who often take direction from a superior all day and feel they have little control. When they come home, their man cave gives them a sense of sanctuary, of control.

On the biological front, says Haltzman, women have lots of oxytosin, "the bonding hormone." Guys have something called vasopressin. Less is known about vasopressin, says Haltzman, but it does tend to make the male of the species more territorial. Also, he says the male brain structure contributes to why guys are less into sharing emotions, more into watching sports on a flat-screen TV with surround sound.

Enough talk. Let the construction begin.

Kickoff approaches

First, it should be known that Brookins isn't some regular joe who has taken it upon himself to build a free-standing man cave. Brookins, who is 38, grew up in a construction family and is a senior signature builder for John Whelan Homes.

So when he stood in a far corner of his backyard and said, "This spot would be good for my place," then looked at the garage and yard full of surplus building supplies he'd accumulated, the decision was pretty much made.

A neighbor helped him put up the roof struts, an electrician did the wiring and one of his subcontractors put up the Sheetrock. Everything else he's done himself. He hasn't kept track of his time on the project, and because he already had many of the materials, he has no idea how much he's invested in the project.

"I'm guessing it would run $15,000 to $20,000 -- probably closer to $20,000 -- if you were to have it done."

He's saved money, too, by using space heaters and a portable air cooling device instead of installing central heat and air, buying furniture -- a couch and love seat -- from a thrift store in Fuquay-Varina, and bartering his construction skills for a 42-inch plasma TV. He's making the poker table and building the bar.

Brookins' construction deadline is Sunday, just in time to have those 12 messy friends over to watch the Super Bowl. Two Sundays ago, with the deadline looming, he was painting the trim in his man cave and contemplating what to put up on the walls (three of which were Gobi Desert [and], the fourth, where the TV goes, a rich Midnight Express [dark blue]).

"My 14-year-old son has played hockey since he was 5," says Brookins, "so we'll put up his old jerseys. It'll have a hockey motif." With touches of his beloved Georgia Bulldogs and Atlanta Falcons.

With a bar, minifridge, big plasma TV, a PlayStation -- is there a concern that Brookins may never again be seen in the main house?

"She's trying to get me to get a roll-out bed," says Brookins of wife Kyna.

So how do you know when you've reached a happy balance of time in the house and time in your cave?

"You know you're spending the right amount of time when your wife brings you a cup of tea, rubs your shoulders quickly and leaves the room," Haltzman says. "When she stops doing that and glares at you, then you've overstayed."

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