Such conduct would be undignified even for someone who is not a member in good standing of the Ancient Order of Gasbags, Bloviators and Pundits.

Still, I figured I'd experience at least a tingle of glee when the Writers Guild of America finally ended its strike. For a while there I'd been feeling a little "Lost" without my "House" and "Desperate Housewives."

Instead, when the Hi-Def Hemingways announced last week that they were ready to start tapping out more must-see TV, I was filled with dread. You see, I'd had a micro Road to Damascus moment during the three-month strike. I fear the writers' return might steal my resolve, leading me back to the wrack and ruin of the remote.

My epiphany came three weeks ago from the pages of Entertainment Weekly. To aid its plasma-deprived readers, the magazine suggested that they create their own prime-time schedules with favorite shows on DVD.

Faster than you can say "24," I was scouring the Web site tvshowsondvd.com, which lists 7,380 programs on disc. I felt as if I'd seen 'em all -- from "Adam-12" and "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet" through "Dallas," "Green Acres," "The Jeffersons" and "The Love Boat" and on through "The Waltons," "You Bet Your Life" and "Zorro."

Each name conjured vivid memories. I remembered long-forgotten actors -- Martin Milner, Ricardo Montalban and Ellen Corby -- and once-beloved characters -- Sue Ellen, Weezy, Julie the cruise director. Clear as a bright tropical day, I saw Hervé Villechaize shouting "de plane, de plane" as a fresh batch of guests arrived at "Fantasy Island."

This trip down memory lane filled me with nostalgia and pride -- I was rather impressed by my vast knowledge of TV history. But enough self-congratulation; there was work to do. Whittling my list to the 20 programs that would fill out my prime-time lineup -- two half-hour comedies and two one hour dramas per night -- wouldn't be easy.

In fact, it proved impossible, but not for the reason I had expected. Turns out I was more than happy to let Weezy Jefferson, Sue Ellen Ewing and the rest of the gang remain misty water-colored memories. In fact, three hours and one legal pad later, I'd found just six shows that I could see myself seeing again: "The Andy Griffith Show," "The Fugitive," "Star Trek," "The Rockford Files," "Seinfeld" and "The X-Files." Truth be told, I own all of them on DVD and seldom watch them, except for "The Fugitive." The travails of Dr. Richard Kimble, the doctor falsely accused of murdering his wife, has a strange grip on me.

I started to calculate the number of hours I'd misspent in front of the box when I realized two things: One, I'd never get it right because I'm terrible at math, and two, it was depressing.

Instead I conducted a happier exercise. I started a list of my favorite movies. I realized that they all had something in common. I'd seen "Wuthering Heights" (the 1939 version), "The Lady Eve," "Sweet Smell of Success," "The Apartment," "The Godfather, Part II" and "Being John Malkovich" at least half a dozen times each. And I'd be happy to fire up those discs tonight.

Then I made a list of favorite books, including "Hunger" by Knut Hamsun, "Absalom, Absalom!" by William Faulkner, "Gravity's Rainbow" by Thomas Pynchon and everything by P.G. Wodehouse. These and other favorites had rewarded me through multiple readings. I look forward to revisiting them again soon.

Then I asked myself: "Self," I queried, "are there any movies you haven't seen or books you haven't read but would like to?"

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