Fans adapt to a new Clay Aiken

A gay person's coming out can be emotionally arduous for everyone involved, as the person acknowledging his or her sexual orientation struggles to make it known, and friends and relatives digest the news.

In the case of Raleigh's own pop star, Clay Aiken, that process is multiplied thousands of times. He's one of the Triangle's most famous residents, one many are proud to call their own. Although sales for his concert tickets and albums have diminished in recent years, Aiken's fans are still fervent, and they are treating the news of his orientation as an extended family might: Some are fine with it. Some believe he's a sinner.

And much as it happens in families, some knew all along. Ada Barlow of Durham summed up the feelings of many pop-culture watchers when she treated the news with a shrug.

"It's like, 'C'mon Clay,' " said Barlow, 52, who acknowledged that she is not a fan of Aiken's music. "Some things you can't play."

It wasn't easy for Aiken, 29, to come out of the closet. He cried when he told his mom four years ago.

Born and raised in Raleigh, he graduated from Leesville Road High School and UNC-Charlotte with intentions of becoming a teacher of special-needs children. But in 2003, "American Idol" launched him toward fame, a multi-platinum album and a role in a Broadway musical.

In the issue of People magazine that begins hitting newsstands today, Aiken described how he came out to his mother, Faye Parker. The pair had dropped off Aiken's half-brother, Brett Parker, at Camp Lejeune before his deployment to Iraq.

Aiken broke the news to her in the car.

"It was dark. I was sitting there, thinking to myself. I don't know why I started thinking about it...I just started bawling. She made me pull over the car and it just came out."

His mother started crying.

"She was obviously somewhat stunned. But she was very supportive and very comforting," Aiken told the magazine. He said his mom is still working through her feelings. "She still struggles with things quite a bit, but she's come a long way."

Efforts to reach Aiken failed. Parker declined to comment.

"I haven't even seen the People story," she said.

'It took courage'

Some fans are struggling with the disclosure as well, although most seem to be accepting of the news.

"If that's your sexual orientation, you need to be able to live free and not have to hide," said Barbara Dewees of Raleigh. Dewees, 60, has traveled to New York to see Aiken perform in "Monty Python's Spamalot," and to Iowa and Missouri for concerts.

"I think it took courage for him to do it," Dewees said. Speaking like the new grandmother that she is, she also expressed happiness about Aiken's latest family addition. "I think his baby is adorable."

In August, Aiken announced on his Web site that he had fathered a son with music-industry veteran Jaymes Foster, who worked with him on his latest album, "On My Way Here." Foster, who is reported to be in her 50s, became pregnant through artificial insemination.

The cover of People magazine features a photo of father and son. Despite the months-old news that he fathered a child with a platonic friend -- an arrangement some gay men have made to start a family -- some fans on a popular Internet forum, theclayboard.yuku.com, seemed shocked at Aiken's announcement of his homosexuality.

Wrote one fan: "I just feel rather silly now having spent the last 5 years drooling over and being fan girly for a singer I thought was straight."

In recent years, Aiken has deflected questions about his sexuality. When he first became famous, he treated the questions differently: He told people he wasn't gay.

Ted Mayer of Raleigh said that when he first approached his then high-school aged son, Andrew didn't tell the truth about his sexuality, either.

The elder Mayer, who serves as president of PFLAG Triangle, a local support group for parents, family and friends of lesbians and gays, has come to understand his son's reasons. Andrew, now 22, was nervous about what his friends and family might think. He needn't have worried.

"To me it wasn't a big issue, because he's my son no matter what," Mayer said.

But Mayer knows many friends and family members experience a variety of emotions after they find out, with shock and bewilderment often kicking in before acceptance.

Aiken's experience was similar, although his is being played out on a much larger stage. He is scheduled to appear today on "Good Morning America" to talk more about it.

"I give him a lot of credit, because he is a national figure," Mayer said. "I'm proud of him."

So are many of his fans. Although Aiken took a risk in coming out, it seems like most are sticking with him.

"We still have a ways to go in this country, but I'm OK with him being gay," said Dewees, the Raleigh grandma. "It makes no difference in my fandom."