Wow, what a pair of great guys. If President Bush, and his father before him, were any more sensitive, I don't think America could survive them. So concerned are they for the sensibilities of Americans that they want to protect us from seeing caskets bearing fathers and mothers, sons and daughters, after they've been killed in Iraq and are being returned to the United States.

Talk about playing the race card. Imagine, Michael Jackson trying to act black. Feeling the heat of prosecution after being charged with felony counts of child abuse, Jackson moonwalked to Washington last week to meet with black lawmakers and offer his help "in whatever way I can."

Being cultured, polished and refined is a good thing -- if you're listing qualities you seek in a prom date. They are not the ideal qualities you'd want in your beleaguered national security adviser.

Here's a tip: Put all of your money into mops and waist-high waders. Naw, don't hide it there: invest it there. Before this presidential election is over, we're going to need plenty of mops and some very tall boots to wade through the testosterone being slung all over the place. If what we've seen so far is any indication, both President Bush and Sen. John Kerry are going to try to out-macho each other for our hearts and votes.