That's what I was fixing to say to the operator at Duke Hospital when she refused to even confirm that Sen. Ted Kennedy was a patient there Wednesday.

The Massachusetts Democrat had brain surgery at the famed facility Monday and is expected to be there recuperating until next week.

Before I could get the words out, she transferred me to a hospital spokeswoman who only grudgingly acknowledged his presence.

"We're not giving out any information," the essentially nonspeaking spokeswoman said. "That's being handled by a family spokesman."

When I asked if she could put me in touch with a family spokesman, I interpreted the resounding CLICK!! as a "No."

I'm pretty much used to such treatment at Duke. Last time I was there trying to sneak a peek at royalty was in 1993, when Iffat Al-Thinayan, the widow of Saudi Arabia's King Faisal, commandeered an entire wing of the joint for her treatment and recuperation.

That effort ended badly for me, with a striking woman in a striking red dress standing close enough for me to feel what was obviously a gun under her jacket. She and several plainclothes guards with wires running from their ears and guns beneath their jackets escorted me from the premises.

It was with that memory still vivid that I returned to see Sen. Kennedy, the closest thing America has to royalty -- if, that is, you don't count Queen Latifah and you don't think liberal is a cuss word.

Kennedy has been making conservative talk show hosts and politicians apoplectic for decades. Goody-goody.

Just as I respected Republican standard-bearer Jesse Helms' commitment to beliefs I detested, you should appreciate Kennedy's equally unwavering commitment on the opposite side of the political spectrum.

Depending upon the mood of the nation, he has sometimes been like Don Quixote tilting at windmills. When many Democrats treated liberalism like the snaggletoothed but fun girl no one wanted to be seen with, Ted stepped up proudly and escorted her onto the dance -- or Senate -- floor.

No centrist, he.

To appreciate Kennedy, it helps to separate the public Ted from the private one who at times displayed execrable judgment with regard to liquor and women.

Who hasn't?

Despite roaming the hospital's corridors for close to an hour, I got no closer to Kennedy than you did. The one time in my life that I was close enough to speak to him, my tongue cleaved to the roof of my mouth, and I choked under the pressure.

As a college student in 1977, I was visiting the Capitol seeking a summer internship with South Carolina Sen. Strom Thurmond. The interview was set up by my college's president, and as I am wont to do even now, I took a wrong turn. I ended up on an elevator I probably shouldn't have been on -- alone until Sen. Kennedy stepped aboard.

I was so awed that I never spoke. If he reads this column or if someone reads it to him, I want to say what I wish I'd said then: that even though this state kept sending Jesse Helms to Washington, many of us appreciate what his brothers and he did, tried to do and stood for.

I also want to let him know where he can find some great ribs and fish in Durham.

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