We're movin' on up

Uh-oh. Now the trouble for black men really starts.

While millions of people are basking in the afterglow of Barack Obama's election, I'm thinking of its negative implications.

All over America, under-achieving or just plain lazy brothers were awakened this morning by the sound of Sweet Thang's or Big Mama's sweet, sultry voice piercing the silence. "Get up outta that bed. You mean to tell me that man can get elected president and you can't go out there and get a job to help me with this light bill?"

Many of those same men, as they wipe the sleep from their eyes and trudge out into the world, will be muttering to themselves, "Man, if that dude had just stayed a senator, I could be at home eating Cap'n Crunch and watching 'Sanford & Son' re-runs."

Sweet Thang: Why can't you be more like Obama?

Me: Why can't you be more like Michelle?

Me again: OUCH!

Some will use Obama's victory as inspiration to strive harder, while others will use it as an excuse to deny racism still exists. Mere hours after the election, I received an op-ed piece from a conservative California writer proclaiming that, "No longer can any minority child blame his failures on the color of his skin."

Not so fast there, homes. Racism hasn't magically disappeared just because of Obama's victory, but we can all admit that reservations have been made for it on the last train out of town. There's a seat on board for everyone who persists in seeing the world in black and white.

It can be argued, though, that the states won by John McCain voted against Obama because he was a Democrat, not black: Obama won every state won by Al Gore in 2000 and John Kerry in 2004.

Irv Joyner, a law professor at NCCU, said "The red states voted against him because he is a Democrat, but even within those states he won were certainly some people who voted against him because he's black. ... Those votes were canceled out by the overwhelming black turnout."

You have to go back to 1996 when Bill Clinton, a true son of a ... I mean son of the South, won to find a Democrat who fared well in the South.

That doesn't mean that there weren't some who couldn't have brought themselves to vote for Obama under any circumstances.

Those people are the ones who -- if not still fighting the Civil War -- drive around with Confederate flag bumper stickers that say, "Hell naw, I ain't fergittin'."

My buddy Mike Hoke of Raleigh, a retired U.S Marine vet who prefers to be known as Junior Walker Jr., pointed out another problem some men will face from an Obama presidency.

"You know how he likes to play basketball, right? I'd love to see the 'rules of engagement' for that game. What's gonna happen to the first person who sets a pick on President Obama and knocks him down?"

Over the next four years, a lot of people will try to knock Obama down. To them, I'd like to quote the 20th century songbirds who uttered these profound words:

Fish don't fry in the kitchen

Beans don't burn on the grill.

Took a whole lot of tryin'

Just to get up that hill.

Now we're up in the big leagues

Getting our turn at bat

As long as we live

It's you and me, [America.]

There ain't nothing wrong with that...

We finally got a piece of the piiiiiiiiiiie.