Take my wife - please. That's not just one of the funniest lines ever uttered -- by comedian Henny Youngman. It's also pretty much what Barack ("Barry" to his mama) Obama told Tavis Smiley recently.

Smiley, host of a television show and a syndicated radio talk show, declined the offer of Michelle Obama to speak on her husband's behalf. He wanted the Democratic presidential primary candidate to appear at his annual State of the Black Union conference this week, or no Obamas.

The conference will be shown on C-SPAN this weekend.

Obama turned down Smiley's request -- it sounds now more like a demand -- because of that old standby, "scheduling conflicts," but he offered to send his wife to the New Orleans conference on his behalf.

Smiley wasn't even trying to hear that. He sounded almost apoplectic on "The Tom Joyner Morning Show" syndicated radio program, accusing Obama of not wanting to appear at a black event. I swear, it was hard to tell whether Smiley was castigating the candidate for allegedly ignoring blacks -- the ostensible reason for his anger -- or for ignoring him.

My money is on "a combination of both."

Tavis and I aren't 'Boys -- I've met him only once, and I lied to him then; more about that later. Nevertheless, I want to speak four little words frankly to him right here:

Yo, T. Chill, homes.

The fight between Smiley and Obama is unseemly, diminishes the former's stature and can only distract Obama from his mission of winning the Democratic presidential nomination. It's not like Obama doesn't have other things to do this weekend -- such as campaigning in Ohio, Pennsylvania and Texas, states where Hillary Clinton must win to once again make this a real race.

In subsequent interviews, Smiley said variously that he was "catching hell" and being "barbecued" by black Americans for deigning to criticize Obama. Typical was a Web site post that accused the formerly beloved Smiley of drinking "haterade," slang for being jealous of Obama's prominence and success.

I won't go that far. Tavis Smiley strikes me as a good dude, someone with a genuine interest in leaving a better world than the one he found. Before this contretemps with Obama, my only issue with Smiley was his constant reliance on the phrase "black folks" in conversation and writing. Gee, Tavis. Can't we just be "people," even "black people"?

I met Smiley when we were both in San Diego at the Republican National Convention in 1996. He was hawking his first book, "Hard Left," and, as I'm sure most people do when they meet authors, I told him I liked it. In truth, I hadn't even read it, but I immediately bought it, read it on the flight back to North Carolina and did like it.

If Smiley wants to criticize Obama for his stand on issues, for the way he wears his hat or any other thing, that's fine. He should, however, make sure that he's not criticizing him for some presumed personal slight.

I've been unable to reach Smiley since he became un-Soul Bro. No. 1 because of this Obama thing, but in a Washington Post interview about the controversy, he said, "My job is to ask the critical question, to raise these issues and keep these guys focused. There are some people who are disappointed that I'm not jumping up and down saying, 'Vote for Barack Obama.' That's not my role as a journalist."

That's odd, because for years Smiley has made it a point to note that he is not a journalist. If he is now, all I can say to him is "Welcome aboard."

And I'm not lying to him this time.