Not the day for protests

This is an open letter to the people of Raleigh's Cameron Park:

Many of you received an invitation to take part in a Memorial Day protest at the State Capitol.

Please, don't do it. Don't turn a solemn day of mourning for those who have died in service to their country into a macabre sideshow.

The invitation you received read, in part, "What does a person who is against the war do on Memorial Day?

"Memorial Day is the time to recognize the sacrifice of those at war. How do we recognize them? How do we pay them respect? Do we salute them? Do we offer condolences? Do we raise a tribute to them? What do we do on Memorial Day?"

Good questions, all. And I have some suggestions.

But for now, I know what you don't do. You don't, as the e-mail message announced, march on the State Capitol on Memorial Day carrying coffinlike boxes draped with American flags.

The stated purpose of the march is "to reflect upon the service and sacrifice, honorably given by our troops." Such a morbid perversion of military burial ceremonies will do little to comfort those who have lost loved ones in this war.

Don't do it, Cameron Park. Don't let your honest and noble opposition to war cause pain to those who have lost their soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen.

I have attended more than 20 military funerals over the past 15 months. I have seen how seriously those who wear the uniform and those who love them take military symbolism. Don't spoil their traditions with this charade. Frankly, you haven't earned the privilege of hijacking their rituals for your own purpose.

If you want to denounce the war, more power to you. March on Washington. Impeach President Bush (but make sure Vice President Cheney goes with him). Vote for anti-war candidates. Write letters, sign petitions.

But not this ugly thing. Brave men and women are buried in real coffins draped with American flags. For many families, the memory of a dignified military funeral and a lovingly folded flag is all they have left. Don't tarnish those memories by making a mockery of an honorable warrior's last farewell.

If you are serious in your desire to honor military sacrifices this Memorial Day weekend and are not merely trying to draw attention to your point of view, consider these alternatives:

Jim Buck and his two sons will have a lemonade stand outside the Fresh Market on Falls of the Neuse Road on Saturday morning starting at 10:30. They're raising money for the Wounded Warriors fund that assists military families.

Last year Jim and the boys raised $1,000 hawking lemonade on Memorial Day and Veterans Day. They're hoping for twice that this year. So if you really support the troops instead of using them as a feel-good smoke screen, have a cup of lemonade and drop a ten-spot in the kitty.

Light a candle. Tonight, there will be a candle-lighting service at the Vietnam Memorial on Capitol Square to honor those still missing in action. It starts at 7:30 p.m.

There are a lot of lawyers in Cameron Park. Think about joining the N.C. Academy of Trial Lawyers program offering free legal counsel to wounded vets trying to get benefits from their government.

Or drop by Quail Ridge Books this weekend to buy a kids' book for the USO's United Through Reading program. The USO helps deploying parents make video recordings for their children.

Last weekend, the 535th Military Police Battalion shipped out from Garner. Triangle Baptist Church has an ambitious support program to help their families. Why not call the church and ask what you can do?

Recently, a Sunday school class at Mt. Auburn United Christian Church up near Kerr Lake donated $2,500 to Jacksonville's magnificent Hope For the Warriors program. Why not organize the same thing in your church, club or neighborhood?

Or stop by Capitol Square on Saturday to join in the 20th anniversary salute to the Vietnam memorial. The names of more than 1,600 North Carolinians who died in that war will be read aloud. It begins at 10 a.m.

Most of us want this war to end as much as you do, so if you can hasten that day in an honorable way, please do. For instance, imagine the majesty and impact of a nighttime gathering of more than 3,400 quiet and prayerful people holding a lighted candle for each of the dead. Do that, and I'll stand with you.

But, please, not this. And not this day. You don't honor America's military dead on Memorial Day by turning the most sacred and somber of military rituals into anti-war street theater.

They deserve better.

And so does Cameron Park.