Games help youngsters learn to resolve conflicts

Dispute Settlement Center works in Chapel Hill public housing complexes

CHAPEL HILL -- LaSharrica Walker grinned as she hustled across a circle of 11 children to hand Preshus Bynum a lumpy cloth juggling ball.

Younger boys in the group jumped up and down to celebrate the third-graders completing their "pass." As the ball was tossed or handed from one child to the next faster and faster, the kids shot glances at Will Dudenhausen from the Dispute Settlement Center, who held another ball in his hands.

They were ready for the second ball. And if they could keep two moving across the circle, he would add a third.

"Maybe more people might consider walking it," Dudenhausen suggested as the kids' throws became more frantic.

Some listened. Most didn't as they collided with one another, stepping into the circle to catch the balls before they hit the floor.

The children at the South Estes public housing neighborhood spend an hour every other week with Dudenhausen, who for three years has used such team-building games to teach conflict-resolution skills.

"I get to see them grow up and learn from some of the things that I've taught them," he said.

The Dispute Settlement Center, a nonprofit organization in Carrboro, has been working in Chapel Hill's public housing communities since 1992.

Elizabeth Carter, who runs the South Estes after-school program and also serves on the Chapel Hill-Carrboro school board, said her kids have absorbed Dudenhausen's teachings.

"They know Mr. Will's program probably as well as Mr. Will does," she said. "They like the games that he plays."

They're also comfortable talking about how to handle real-life conflicts they might have at school or on the bus.

"It means that you're braver and a bigger person to sit down," Carter said.

After the game tossing the ball, Dudenhausen moved the boys and girls on to charades to reinforce an earlier lesson about emotions.

Paula Degraffenried, a third-grader, looked at her slip of paper, then threw her hands down and tilted her head to one side dejectedly.

"Frustrated!" her teammates yelled, sending the next player up.

Dudenhausen hoped the lesson might help the children better interpret what someone else might be feeling in a difficult situation.

He ended the session with the "council circle," an opportunity the children always get to share what's going on.

They sat on the floor and passed a small seashell when it was their turn to talk. First they shared something they were happy about, such as a birthday, then they talked about anything they wanted to.

Dudenhausen wrapped up with a cheer he learned from a predecessor. With their small hands touching a large conch shell in the circle's center, the children shouted:

"We all live together. We all work together. We all play together. So we must pull together!"