I would like to thank students at UNC who prevented the speech by former congressman Tom Tancredo for pointing out an excellent way to reduce North Carolina's budget deficit. Think of the savings by eliminating the salaries for a whole cadre of UNC professors. Certainly we don't need to employ those faculty since the students demonstrate that they already know everything.
There is no need for students at this liberal arts institution of higher learning to contemplate competing view points on critical issues; they already know all the subtle nuances. After eliminating the professors, perhaps we should rename the school in Chapel Hill. I suggest considering Already Know U.