Sewing to save lives

MOREHEAD CITY -- Carol Helmlinger points to the pictures and chats about each of the people, particularly the kids, who all took their own lives.

"Oh, that's little Becky; she took her life at 13, after her parents got a divorce," she says.

It has been 10 years since Helmlinger began her suicide quilt project. It has been 19 years - to the day - since her son Richie Castaldi committed suicide after his girlfriend started dating another guy.

The panels, like her son's memory, still come to life for Helmlinger every time she hangs the quilts on metal frames, at churches and schools, for law enforcement training sessions and youth groups.

"The quilt speaks to people, especially to the kids," she says.

That is Helmlinger's goal. To memorialize, certainly. To comfort the survivors, too. But the reason she learned to sew, the reason she has carted the quilts more than 25,000 miles, is to educate and perhaps to touch young people thinking about suicide.

"If we can save just one, just one," she says, "then it would all be worth it."

What started as a single quilt quickly grew to three. Each square features a photograph reprinted on cloth, dates of birth and death and perhaps a poem or other remembrance. The squares are simple but compelling.

The project remains a work in progress, because there are still too many people who take their own lives.

Over the last year, local emergency rooms have reported significant increases in suicides and suicide attempts.

At HopeLine, which operates a 24-hour suicide crisis and TeenTalk line, crisis calls have doubled in the last year.

"We absolutely believe it is related to the economy," said Courtney Worthen, executive director.

Helmlinger, for her part, formed the first state chapter of the national Suicide Prevention Advocacy Network. Now there are quilts like hers in almost every state.

Helmlinger's panels feature people of all ages. There are middle-aged couples. Grandfathers. Men in their 30s.

What Helmlinger calls "multiples" - more than one suicide in a family - are tragic. But the quilt panels that are hardest to look at are those representing young people.

"Some people believe we shouldn't talk about suicide with teenagers," Helmlinger said. "But they've already thought about it."

Recently, the families whose loved ones are featured on panels of the quilt gathered for a reunion in Wake Forest. More than 100 people attended.

"We hugged and cried," Helmlinger said.

The night before, Helmlinger spoke at Franklin Academy in Wake Forest. As usual, all the students flocked to the quilts.

Afterward, one of the kids, who was contemplating suicide, approached Helmlinger for help.

That, she said, is what it's all about.

For information about the Suicide Prevention Advocacy Network, visit www.span usa.org ; for crisis intervention, call HopeLine's crisis line/TeenTalk line at 919-231-4525 or 877-235- 4525.