Perhaps it's better, ultimately, that Stormy Daniels not run for political office.
If elected to succeed Diaper David Vitter as one of Louisiana's U.S. senators, she'd have been constrained to representing just one geographical constituency. This way, she gets to travel the entire country spreading her message of joy, of self-reliance, of a fairer tax system and yes - of love.
"It's a gift that I get to spread my message" to all sections of America, Daniels said after she'd finished spreading it at The Men's Club on Yonkers Road on Friday morning.
The adult entertainer - calling Daniels a stripper is a disservice along the lines of calling Van Gogh a guy who painted - said campaigning for office, far from being an enriching publicity stunt as detractors charge, "was actually costing me money. The time I spent on listening tours and talking to people was time I could've been making money."
She pulled the plug last week in Raleigh on what would have been, at best, a long-shot campaign. The Republican Vitter, despite being outed for the vilest hypocrisy and for patronizing a prostitute who said he liked being pampered while wearing Huggies, has still managed to raise more than $4 million for his re-election campaign. Daniels ended her campaign, she said, because "establishing residency in Louisiana was going to be tough. I'd have to sell my home in Florida, and my Los Angeles townhouse has been on the market" for a long time.
"I can still talk about my pet projects. I'm a big advocate of adoption and a fair tax," she said. "The whole tax system is poorly designed. It punishes hard work and rewards poor behavior."
Not surprisingly, she favors sex education. "I like to say I'm not pro-choice; I'm pro-condom," she said.
Another issue close to her heart, she said, is "intellectual copyrights. Why is it a crime for someone to go and rob a store, but it's not a crime for them to go on the Internet and download CDs illegally. That is one of my pet projects."
Hey, if you'd made - as she has - 150 adult movies, that would be your pet project, too. People may illegally download her stuff - my favorite is the haunting love story "Forever Stormy with Julian" - but she noted that she's invulnerable on one issue that is the bane of many politicians. Right, John Edwards? "No one's ever going to leak a sex tape of me," she said. "I'll take you to the store and show you where they are."
Daniels' appeal
From visiting her Web site - stormydaniels.com - and waiting to interview her, it was obvious that she connects equally well with male and female voters, and across race and socio-economic lines. Her positions drew enthusiastic responses from men with what appeared to be $200 haircuts as well as those with $5 buzz cuts, mullets and dreadlocks. Yes, mullets. How many politicians can reach such a diverse constituency?
Of the hundreds of political interviews I've conducted over the years, this was the first one that started at 2:15 a.m.
I had to wait until the now-former candidate finished meeting privately with several individual campaign donors who wanted, one imagines, to discuss her views on health care reform and whether global warming is a hoax perpetrated by Democrats who want everyone to drive a Prius.
Even though she told me she'll probably never run for office again, wouldn't it have been nice to hear her say, from the august chambers of the U.S. Senate, "Mr. Speaker, I'd like to make a motion" - and then watch her do her hootchy-kootchy hot candle wax dance?
One good thing about Daniels: You know how it often takes years to clean up the mess left behind by some politicians? It only took three minutes with some Windex and paper towels for a couple of guys to clean up the mess - melted wax - she left behind onstage.
Daniels said she hoped her quixotic but abbreviated quest would, in the end, improve the body politic. "Vitter is awful. Not only should he not be in office, he should be in jail. Prostitution is illegal. He doesn't represent the people well. Maybe I'll inspire someone else more qualified than I am to run. They may say, 'If a porn star can run, so can I.' "
OK, maybe it's not as memorable as "Ask not what your country can do for you ..." or even "Yes we can," but it's catchy in its own way.
