GRINNELL, Iowa -- In order to separate doting parents from their college-bound children, Morehouse College has instituted a formal "Parting Ceremony."
So on a recent evening, parents of incoming freshmen listened to speeches in the chapel, then the students filed through the gates of the Atlanta campus - which swung shut, leaving the parents outside.
When University of Minnesota freshmen move in at the end of this month, parental separation will be a little sneakier: Mothers and fathers will be invited to a reception so students can meet their roommates and negotiate dorm room space - without adult meddling.
As the latest wave ofsuperinvolved parents delivers its children to college, institutions are building activities meant to punctuate and speed the separation. It is part of an increasingly complex process, in the age of Skype and twice-daily texts home, in which colleges are urging "Velcro parents" to back off so students can develop independence.
Iowa's Grinnell College, like others, has found it necessary to be explicit about when parents really, really, truly must say good-bye. Move-in day for the 415 freshmen in the class of 2014 was Saturday. After computer printers and duffle bags had been carried to dorm rooms, everyone gathered in the gymnasium - students on one side of the bleachers, parents on the other. The president welcoming the new class had his back to the parents - a symbolic staging meant to inspire "an a-ha moment," said Houston Dougharty, vice president of student affairs, "an epiphany where parents realize, 'My student is feeling more comfortable sitting with 400 people they just met.'"
Shortly after, parents were urged to leave campus.
Moving their students in usually takes a few hours. Moving on? Most deans can tell stories of parents who lingered around campus for days.
At Colgate University in Hamilton, N.Y., a mother and father once went to their daughter's classes on the first day of the semester and trouped to the registrar's office to change her schedule, recalled Beverly Low, the dean of first-year students.
"We recognize it's a huge day for families," she said. Still, during various parent meetings on Colgate's move-in day, which is Thursday, Low and other officials plan to drop not-so-subtle hints that "activities for the class of 2014 begin promptly at 4," she said.
Formal "hit the road" departure ceremonies are unusual but growing in popularity, said Joyce Holl, head of the National Orientation Directors Association. A more common approach is for colleges to introduce blunt language into drop-off schedules specifying the hour for last hugs. As of 5:30 p.m. Sept. 11, for example, the parents of Princeton freshmen learn from the move-in schedule, "subsequent orientation events are intended for students only."
The language was added in recent years to draw a clear line, said Thomas Dunne, the associate dean of undergraduates. "It's easy for students to point to this notation and say, 'Hey Mom, I think you're supposed to be gone now,'" he said. "It's obviously a hard conversation for students to have with parents."
For evidence, consider a chat-board thread by new Princeton parents on the website College Confidential. "Do parents hang around for a day or two after orientation in case their kids need something?" asked one poster, mrscollege. "I say no, but we have a friend who is planning to hang around for a while in Princeton for her son just in case."
Some undergraduate officials see parents' separation anxieties as evidence of the excesses of modern child-rearing. "A good deal of it has to do with the evolution of over involvement in our students' lives," said Dougharty of Grinnell. "These are the baby-on-board parents, highly invested in their students' success. They do a lot of living vicariously, and this is one manifestation of that."
