Food and friendship in equal measure

Today's supper clubs come in many forms: potlucks among college friends, formal dinners with grandmother's china or themed feasts with diners in costume.

Whatever form they take, supper clubs are as vibrant as ever as groups tailor the vintage concept to make it their own.

When we asked folks to share information about their supper clubs, we got so many invitations that we could have eaten a month's worth of meals from Raleigh to Hickory to south Charlotte.

One club, the Without Reservations Luncheon Club in Hickory, is so popular that it has a waiting list.

What we learned from many people is that the food matters less than the friendship.

"It's not about impressing your friends with food. It's not about spending a lot of money. It's about having fun - with food," says Wendi Lassiter, 48, of Raleigh.

Lassiter's group of six couples who live in the Quail Hollow neighborhood in North Raleigh has been meeting every month for about six years. Their one rule: They don't meet unless everyone can attend.

What's feeding the supper club phenomenon? The economy, according to many, and a basic need to carve out time for friends.

Getting back to basics

"With the economy, people are looking at how they are spending their dollars, but people still want to socialize," says author Debi Shawcross, whose book, "Friends at the Table: The Ultimate Supper Club Cookbook," presents themed seasonal menus for supper clubs.

"These days, it's hard to make time for each other. Supper club enables you to maintain relationships with your friends."

Here is a sampling of the supper clubs we heard from:

Julia Hartsell, 24, of Charlotte has a supper club with 10 friends every Sunday night. Hartsell says she and three members met at UNC-Chapel Hill, and several others know each other via Young Life, a nondenominational Christian youth ministry. The group started six months ago. Members take turns hosting and cooking meals that range from bacon-lettuce-and-tomato sandwiches with sweet potato fries to shrimp linguine.

The only consistent practice is to ask each other a new question during dessert each week: What was your favorite game during childhood? Who is your best friend? How can we help you better as a friend?

Leslie Hobbs, 46, used to organize supper clubs for her church, Highland United Methodist Church on Ridge Road in Raleigh. The idea was for church members who go to different services to get to know each other. Each year, the members would switch to a new supper club.

But Hobbs' group of three couples and herself so enjoyed each other's company that they refused to switch. They have been getting together once a month since 2007.

Their format is simple. The hostess chooses the entree and the others bring a side dish, appetizer or dessert. Once a year, they spend a weekend together at the beach or in the mountains, going out to eat one night and dividing up the cooking of the rest of the meals.

At a recent dinner of Layered Raspberry Salsa Dip with tortilla chips, chicken enchiladas, salad and a Four-Day-Old Coconut Cake, the group gathered at Mary Dionne's Raleigh home. Dionne is a friend of Hobbs, who likes to bring someone new each month.

Dionne, who doesn't cook but just renovated her kitchen, offered to host. As the group drank sangria and Dos Equis beers, the conversation flowed, with plenty of quips and teasing. "We obviously have a good time. We're always laughing," said Hal Barnes, 70, of Raleigh.

Kathy Poe's supper club started in 1981 among seven couples who lived on two streets in the Sedgefield area of Park Road in Charlotte. They try to meet five times a year, taking the summer off to accommodate vacations. The host determines the menu, assigns dishes and sends out recipes. The previous hostess gets a break from cooking but has to bring the wine.

They have tracked the group's history. Poe, 56, explains that the group's two most organized members have kept 30 years worth of menus from their dinners; one is chronological and the other is by family.

Angie Altstaetter, 54, of North Raleigh, says her supper club with six couples started in 1985. At one point, half the members worked at the same accounting firm. Most moved to Raleigh from out of state and were looking to meet people.

Altstaetter says they have tried any number of formats, from potlucks to themed dinners with costumes. Some years, the men have been in charge of organizing and cooking. "They do pretty good when pushed to do so," she says.

Over the years, the couples became close, raising 16 children and watching five of them marry. The group has traveled to New York and Chicago and took a 25-year anniversary trip to Asheville. Altstaetter says, "It created a family away from home."