Andrea N. Richesin can't exactly remember how she came up with the theme for her fourth anthology, "Crush: 26 Real-life Tales of First Love" (Harlequin).
But now that the book is out, she speaks of it with the energy of the phenomenon the stories describe: a rush of words and a delighted giddiness.
"It's a defining moment in a young person's life," she says in a call from New York. "We grow up with our family's love, and the crush is often the first time embracing someone out of that circle of love. You could say it's that first hurdle toward adulthood."
Yes, yet as the essays, written by men and women, reveal, the collection is about that time and more.
"The Deep End of the Ocean" novelist Jacquelyn Mitchard writes of the too-old-for-her "tanned, beautiful boy with the hyacinth eyes" she adored who went on to fight in Vietnam. A piece by Katherine Center reveals the lessons learned from extreme Duran Duran devotion. Melissa Walker, Chapel Hill native and young adult novelist, remembers a notebook she kept, dedicated to a boy she loved who didn't know or care.
The tales resonate with the passion and/or the awkwardness of a crush; Richesin says she rejected stories with the gloss of adult perfection. "The best ones were the ones where the writer was not afraid to be a dork," she says. "The geeky ones were honest. They showed how awkward they were and the devastation of heartbreak. But I think all the writers felt the crush was a gift that made them stronger."
Perhaps the darkest work comes from Durham writer Katie Herzog, whose bittersweet story weaves together her love for her twin sister, her first girlfriend and alcohol.
I loved the way liquor warmed, beer cooled, and wine flushed my cheeks. I hid my drinking from Alice. I drank on our back porch when she was asleep and during the day, when she was at work. I went to bars and parties when she was too tired to attend. And I cheated.
"It's very formative, it's the big story in my life," Herzog says. "It's the thing that always comes back to me, and I thought if I wrote about it I might be able to write about something different."
The power of that story, and the others, comes in part from the nonfiction anthology form, what Richesin calls a "hodge podge" of voices. "It takes real strength to convey what you felt dramatically," she says.
There are perils in conveying those truths. Richesin notes that some writers struggled over whether to change the identities of others or themselves. Not Chapel Hill's Suzanne Finnamore, another contributor.
"I'm afraid I'm quite comfortable writing about my life," she says drily. "It's something the people in my life have to deal with. I'm hoping to be more discreet as I get older, but I doubt it."
Finnamore's "Crush" piece explores the definitions of the word "crush" (like getting "mowed by the love train," she says) and how she met the love of her life at 52, a statement on the ageless nature of a crush.
In fact, Richesin says, not only are crushes not just for the young, they also can be your little secret. "You can have one just for yourself," she says. "Maybe you wink at the cute barista, and move on. You don't have to share it."
