CARTHAGE -- In the days in 2009 before he went on a shooting rampage that left eight people dead at a nursing home, Robert Stewart tried to put his troubled thoughts on paper.
He wrote a series of notes and unsent letters on pages from his stepdaughter's school notebook, alternating among anger, self-pity and tenderness and articulating despair that his wife had left him, according to testimony Tuesday at his murder trial in Moore County Superior Court.
One note mentioned a desire to "end it," while another described thoughts of "taking a lot of people with me," alongside references to Robert E. Lee, plans to leave North Carolina and complaints about impotence and other health problems.
"On April 9, 1865, Robert E. Lee surrendered at Appomattox," Stewart wrote in a note titled "Last Will and Testament" and dated March 21, 2009, according to the testimony of Moore County Sheriff's Deputy George Dennis. "On April 9, I'm going to Appomattox and end it."
The note, like several others, was read aloud in its entirety by Dennis, at the request of both prosecutors and defense lawyers.
Dennis was one of several police officers who searched Stewart's home in Carthage after the March 29, 2009, rampage at Pinelake Health and Rehabilitation Center that left eight people dead. Three people were wounded, including the Carthage police officer who ended the rampage by shooting Stewart.
Stewart is charged with murder in the slayings at the nursing home where his estranged wife worked. Seven nursing home residents and a nurse were killed.
Stewart's state of mind in the days leading up to the massacre will be an important point of contention as his trial continues.
Stewart's lawyers don't contest that he was the gunman at the nursing home, but they argue that he was not fully responsible for his actions at the time. They say depression and prescription drugs, including excessive doses of the sleep aid Ambien, left Stewart in a lethal fog the day of the shootings.
The prosecution contends that Stewart knew what he was doing when he arrived at Pinelake that Sunday morning with four firearms and a bag full of ammunition. Prosecutors argue Stewart went there to kill his estranged wife, Wanda, a nursing home worker who had left Stewart, a 47-year-old disabled painter and National Guard veteran, about two weeks earlier. Before walking into the facility, Stewart found Wanda's car and fired multiple rounds into it.
Some of the notes found by police express anger toward Wanda for leaving him, with an unsent letter claiming she did so because prostate trouble had left Stewart impotent.
"I love Wanda, but she left me for the last time," Stewart wrote in a note, headed "The Last and Final Days," that was recovered from a trash can at his house, according to Dennis.
That note also said, "I thought about taking a lot of people with me," but that he decided against it. The note also didn't specify what Stewart meant by thoughts of taking people with him.
But in a note dated March 25 and addressed to Wanda, to whom he was married twice, Stewart's tone was softer.
"I don't hold no ill will toward you or anyone else," read the missive, which was found in the school notebook of Wanda's stepdaughter. "You don't want me and I understand."
Stewart then explained that he planned to move out west, to see Yellowstone National Park and dip his toes in the Mississippi River.
And in the March 21 "Last Will and Testament" note that referred to the plan to go to the site of Lee's Civil War surrender and "end it," Stewart wrote that he wanted Wanda to have his property and that a stepson should have his firearms.
"I hope my wife, Wanda G. Stewart, will understand I won't let them mess with my manhood," he wrote, in apparent reference to his prostate troubles.
If Stewart is convicted, he could face the death penalty. The trial, which began last week and includes dozens of potential witnesses, could last as long as six to eight weeks.
