When people meet me, particularly if they have a disability or if they're a parent or family member of someone with a disability, I often notice a disconnect between what I perceive as their expectation of me and their actual experience.
Megan and I were recently introduced to a family with a member who has a disability and an interest in increasing his independence. As usual, Megan and I began talking about our lives, including how I maintain my independence, and how I balance this independence with taking care of my wife and continually pushing myself to learn and grow.
Just as in so many other conversations, we found ourselves, after the interaction, feeling an awkwardness in which Megan and I looked at each other quizzically and wondered, what on earth just happened?
In many cases, there seems to an uneasiness; people aren't quite sure what to make of us, or perhaps more specifically, what to make of my ability to meet challenges with seemingly uninhibited responses.
There are times, however, when others are able to recognize the beauty and freedom of such an uninhibited approach to life. Just a few days later, I found myself using similar examples in another conversation, and I noticed that instead of causing discomfort, these examples opened the door to possibility and potential, breaking down barriers in the process.
In both of these situations, there was clarity about how I presented myself as a human being free from the limitations of my disability. Over the years, I have realized that my determination and humor has allowed me to overcome situations others may have turned away from because of the difficulty of the experience. Even something as mundane to me as using the public bus, I've noticed, can cause anxiety in others, so much so that many become unwilling to even try.
Meeting new challenges in life may not always be easy, or even pleasant, but that by no means places these situations are beyond one's reach.
What I offer
Last week, Megan and I rewrote our biography pages on our company website, a part of the perils of rebranding we are facing with utmost bravery. It was a difficult exercise as we broke with convention and decided that rather than relaying a series of accomplishments, these personal statements should be reflections of our personalities.
So in we dived, each of us pondering the question, "What is it that makes me who I am, and when do I generate the greatest impact on others?"
For me, this meant understanding my personality in relation to the response I receive from those I hope to reach. The deeper I explored this concept, the more I started to see my own anxieties around my ability to find laughter and humor in the heart of another person's doubts, and provide them with a clear view of the boxes they place themselves in. It certainly is not a talent that leads to many lukewarm reactions!
At the same time, I recognized that this was the key to what makes me who I am, independent of any credential or accomplishment. As I let this simple truth sink in, I noticed that a faith, of sorts, started to build; a sense of knowing that while my intensity may be too outlandish for many, there will also be those drawn to the laughter and the thrill of meeting life head-on.
Indeed, it takes a brave soul to stand and face oneself in this way, much less ask another to support him in this stance.
Won't you join me?
