From naughty to nice

The holiday season is fun, but it's also stressful. With your family routine disrupted, children can get overexcited and parents may feel overextended.

It helps to sit down as a family and establish what you hope to get out of the holidays, say counseling professionals.

"Eliminate what is not absolutely necessary and celebrate the things that are important to the family," advises Donna Henderson, professor of counseling at Wake Forest University.

"Involving children in the planning and preparation eases some of the sense of things being out of control."

Cope with the economy

"Don't weigh your children down with fears and anxieties," says Anne Siegel, a licensed clinical social worker with Aspire Consulting Group in Raleigh. At the same time, if finances are especially tough, "Be honest about what to expect," she says.

Deal with disappointment

No matter the lengths you go to for your kids, there will be disappointment. "There's been all this buildup," says Leslie Petruk, director of Stepping Stones Counseling and Consulting in Charlotte, "and now it's over."

"For some kids the letdown of opening all their gifts is a natural experience," says Petruk. "Just acknowledging that, letting them talk about it, will help." That's especially true for older kids, says Petruk. But don't pull the shame card, she said, and "go into a big lecture about all the starving people in Africa ..."

Stick with structure

"Kids are more wed to routines than we realize," says Siegel, and the holidays are notorious for breaking the routine. "I'm a bedtime Nazi," admits Siegel, who has 6- and 10-year-old boys. "I do not let them get overtired" - a condition that can lead to various forms of misbehavior.

Sometimes, she says, it's a good idea to build "downtime" into their afternoon. That doesn't necessarily mean a nap. "Kids may roll their eyes at the notion of a nap," she says. Instead, it could mean unwinding with a movie or reading a book.

Hide the fudge and cookies

In a state where more than a third of children are overweight, the feeding frenzy of the holidays can create special challenges. One thing you don't want to do, says Petruk, is make an issue of an overweight child's eating. "The more you say things such as 'You've gotta watch your weight,' the more you're feeding the problem."

First, keep treats out of sight. "If you've got three pies on the counter covered in cellophane, who isn't going to eat them all at once?" says Siegel. Instead, keep healthier stuff - the cut-up fruits and veggies - in the open.

Also, dole out smaller portions. After a child finishes a smaller piece of pie, he may realize he's full.

Limit electronic interruptions

Siegel suggests announcing "no-text times," when you want everyone to be together as a family with no electronic interruption. Give your kids at least a five-minute warning so they have time to notify key contacts they will be incommunicado.

Send 'em outside

Kids excited about the holidays should not be kept inside, says Siegel. Sending them outdoors to play burns excess energy and improves their mood - and yours. "The effort to get the kids clothed and off to a playground always pays off," says Siegel.