Over the last year, Ive been tested. Tested in ways that have been difficult, yet enlightening. Ive been humbled, many times over, but in that, Ive sure found a lot to be grateful for. Ive learned a lot about myself, but Ive also learned a lot about my closest relationship the one with my husband.
When I set off to leave my steady, full-time gig at a major university just over a year ago, I was petrified. Reason, logic, common sense (as embarrassing as it may be, I dont exercise these traits enough) were screaming out, Dont do it! and, Why would you even think of leaving this organization?! I muffled their taunts and moved ahead with my plan.
Plan, I did have a plan, right? Well, sort of. I created one, on the fly. The self-employed route wasnt completely new, but still, it required a certain amount of moxie, confidence, belief that you can. When I wasnt sure if I possessed those attributes, I had someone to pump me up. Enter lead cheerleader, my husband. Minus the kicky skirt and bobby socks, hes the backbone of my support system; the meat and potatoes on my plate; well, since Im primarily a vegetarian these days...the tofu in my scramble?
Over the course of the last year, wed spend many an evening preparing dinner together, plotting and planning how to maneuver that days and the next days labyrinth of twists and turns for both of our endeavors. Relationships cant exist if they are only one way. Its sometimes tempting to get so caught up in your own stuff that you forget you may be someones tofu too.
Having the support of someone who loves you and believes in you cannot be underestimated. Its a powerful gift. The gift extends beyond me; he also gives it freely to our kids. A great husband and a great dad, all rolled into one? I really should thank his parents, in part, for this gift. So thanks Mum and Dad, for raising such an amazingly compassionate, intelligent and supportive human being.
This support has done more than lift my spirits or give me the courage to look beyond my typical objectives. Its actually helped me build the foundation of my consulting business. The limits I set for myself are now in constant flux, and it is because of this newfound confidence inspired by the belief of someone who knows what I can attain.
This kind of support is quite a selfless act, and its genuine through and through. It brings me back to the vows we said oh so many years ago, through richer or poorer, through sickness and in health. Its true that I may not have known the depths of those statements when I uttered them only 24 years into my time on this Earth, and I cant profess to truly understand them now, but I do know that with time they will offer new lessons about the world, each other and ourselves.
By taking his lead, including his culinary preferences, I strive to return this gift of support, by being the peanut butter in his chocolate.