Christian L. Hoyt: Two Americas

April 25, 2013 

Two Americas

The take-no-prisoners governing style of North Carolina’s (and the nation’s) Republican lawmakers has made me realize that perhaps one day the United States could break into two separate countries.

Conservatives will take the states in the South and Southwest, and liberals can have the Northeast and West.

In Tea Party Land, the free market reigns supreme. Guns and weapons are legal and plentiful. Christianity is the national religion, and English is the official language. State-sanctioned “personal responsibility” lectures for the less well-off are the only government benefit. Minorities and homosexuals won’t be coddled. Exploitation of natural resources won’t be hindered by protections for the air, sea or land. Tax rates will hover near zero, and all revenue pays for a bloated, aimless armed force.

In Liberaland, we’ll trade McMansions and attack helicopters for peace, harmony and inclusion. Democracy will trump capitalism, as money is valued but not life’s sole pursuit. We will safeguard our environment. We’ll protect our vulnerable citizens. And most of us will be happy.

I wonder which nation will last longer? Let’s put it this way: When Tea Party Land wants to rejoin us, we’ll graciously take it back.

Christian L. Hoyt


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