Go ahead and ‘rock that crazy hat head’

CorrespondentFebruary 5, 2014 

Ellen Moss

COURTESY OF ELLEN MOSS

I have a short haircut and I love it. It suits both my active, sweaty lifestyle and my quirky goofball personality to a T. My foreseeable future includes absolutely zero plans for growing my hair out.

That said, there are a few minor downsides to having short hair, and along with raging bed-head and unfortunate wind-induced cowlicks, wearing hats is one of them.

I have found that once I put a hat on my head, it is best to stay committed to it until my next shower. This is especially true if I do something sweaty while I am wearing the hat. Seeing as I am an avid recreational runner and fitness professional who teaches multiple group exercise classes per day, sweaty happens a lot in my world. And thus, my best hat scenario is just keeping the hat on as long as I can get away with it.

Needless to say, I tend to reserve hats for only the very bitterly coldest of occasions.

In times of extremely dire hat emergencies that do not allow keeping the hat on all day, I generally just resign myself to embracing the hat head as a means for fostering a greater appreciation of how my hair looks when it is “normal” (a term I use loosely, especially when I’m talking about my hair).

I like to think of my hat head acceptance as an expression of the highest level of self-assurance and confidence, but in reality it is probably just the reason I haven’t been out on a date in a very long time.

Now don’t get me wrong. I have tried to remedy the curse of the hat head with accessories such as sparkly barrettes and headbands. I have even gone so far as to wet my whole head down in the bathroom sink at work and then attempt to fluff up my hair using the wall-mounted hand dryer.

But inevitably, my friends and colleagues see right through even my most elaborate hat head revitalization efforts, and they seem to take great delight in telling me so.

And that is why hat head is an all-in sort of matter. If you have short, unruly hair like mine, you must either commit to wearing the hat all day long no matter what, or else you’d better be ready to rock that crazy hat head until the next time you have access to a shower and a blow dryer.

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