She/he just broke your heart. Or maybe you broke hers/his. Either way, you’re saying, “Bah, humbug” to Valentine’s Day this year. Returning fire at that chubby cherub with the bow and arrows.
I’ve got your back. What follows are some tips on getting some extra-good wines and throwing an “I Will Survive” party.
If you have some pals in the same boat, invite them over, but make it clear there will be no tears, no moping over the cad or cadess who done you wrong.
First, download some pugnacious songs like Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive,” Katharine McPhee’s “Over It,” Shakira’s “Don’t Bother.” Sing along. Loudly.
Rent some movies. But no teary chick flicks, even if you’re a (forgive me) chick. Rent “Apocalypse Now.” Rent every “Star Trek” or “Star Wars” video you can find (it’s fun to look at the Starship Enterprise of the 1980s on hi-def TV and see how obviously it was made of plywood or some such).
Or every movie you can find starring Arnold, Bruce or Vin.
Or rent movies with tough female leads like the ones in “Hunger Games,” “Aliens,” “Mommy Dearest,” even that one with Jessica Rabbit.
The meal is obvious: big steaks for the women, bottomless cartons of ice cream for the men. Wait – do I have that backwards? Whatever: Let’s keep this gender-neutral.
Now for the wine: Without the expense of flowers, candy and fancy restaurant meals, you can splurge on some really nice wine (in moderation, of course).
You should pick the wines even more carefully than last year, when you were putting together a romantic dinner for your then-significant other. These wines are for you.
Here are some of the finest wines I’ve tasted recently. You should start, of course, with a nice bubbly to toast your newfound freedom and the infinite possibilities of the future.
You go, girl/guy!
P.S. Even if you don’t need this now, clip and save it. It could be handy for that trending new institution – the divorce party.