Commentary

Saunders: Dysfunctional relationship between Donald Sterling, Los Angeles NAACP

bsaunders@newsobserver.comApril 28, 2014 

Clippers Sterling Basketball

DANNY MOLOSHOK — AP

Chill, homes. This is not another column eviscerating Donald Sterling, the owner of the L.A. Clippers basketball team and alleged racist real estate mogul and slumlord.

This isn’t even another column lampooning the Los Angeles Chapter of the NAACP, which was fixing to bestow yet another “Lifetime Achievement Award” upon Sterling.

People have been criticizing the local chapter of the organization since its chummy relationship with Sterling came out after a tape of Sterling’s odious conversation with his girlfriend, V. Stiviano, became public. Can somebody get that woman some vowels?

How’d he do that?

It’s hard for me, a man whose life has been bereft of distinction or notable achievement, to conceive how Sterling received not one Lifetime Achievement Award from the group but two.

Verily I say unto you, was he born again and lived equally exemplary lives both times?

Judging by the lawsuits, settlements and his recently publicized comments, his first life hasn’t been all that exemplary.

That’s of no consequence to the L.A. NAACP.

Its neighbor chapter, in Hollywood, makes some questionable decisions, too. It once nominated the late rapper Tupac for its Image Award. Heckuva rapper, but his lifestyle as exemplified in his music was not one the organization should’ve been extolling.

That chapter also condemned the movie “The Color Purple” for its noxious portrayals of black men and then turned around and criticized the Academy Awards when the movie it vilified didn’t win an Oscar. It also presented an award to Whoopi Goldberg for her performance in the movie.

Holy smokes. Despite theirinconsistencies and moral duplicitousness, I come not to bury these NAACP chapters, but to praise them – and possibly to steal a page from their fundraising manual.

Rich racists, call me

Because it appears that the L.A. NAACP chapter was a willing foil in Sterling’s attempt to buy his way out of bad publicity, I’m figuring there must be other wealthy racists out there who’d like to do the same, especially if there’s a pending racial discrimination lawsuit – as there was with Sterling when he bought his first lifetime achievement award.

That’s where I come in. If you are a virulent racist who happens to be rich and who needs to have a good deed to flaunt in court, hit me up.

I’ll send over some blacks and browns, possibly even some yellows and reds, to add some color so that your otherwise monochromatic high-society soirees can be displayed in court as evidence of your commitment to diversity. I’ll even send some to sit on your side of the courtroom during your discrimination trial.

Concerned looks and furrowed brows are included. If you want them to softly hum an old Negro spiritual while rocking back and forth, that’ll cost extra.

Just make the check out to Co-opted AfroAmericans, So Hush. That’s C.A.S.H., for short.

Speaking of holy smoke, in the Catholic Church, people with enough money at one time could get absolution for their sins by purchasing what are called “indulgences.”

That’s right: Hand over enough cheddar, and your sin-laden slate could be wiped clean. Sterling apparently thought the NAACP had the power to wipe his slate clean. That’s why, on second thought, you’d better write the check to “Bought Indulgences, Got Out of Trouble.” Just make that bad boy out to B.I.G.O.T.

Saunders: 919-836-2811 or bsaunders@newsobserver.com

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