Way back in 1975, Lou Reed put out one of the most perverse albums of all time. Titled "Metal Machine Music," it consisted of a bit more than an hour of screeching feedback spread over four vinyl sides.

Last year, Reed put out an album that is either the evil or kinder, gentler twin of "Metal Machine Music." Titled "Hudson River Wind Meditations" (Sounds True Music), it consisted of a bit more than an hour of increasingly grating ambience.

Visceral impact aside, these albums actually have a lot in common. Each consists of four tracks of "music," and each is utterly confounding in a not-very-pleasant way. While "Meditations" isn't as immediately off-putting as the white noise of "Metal Machine Music," it's not unlike Chinese water torture. You keep waiting for "Meditations" to do something, anything, but all it does is go on. And on. And on.

Truly, Reed marches to no one's drumbeat save his own, which you have to respect. Come Monday night, when Reed plays Durham's Carolina Theatre, he'll probably do a set ranging all over his solo career, plus chestnuts from the old Velvet Underground days. Maybe a few more songs than you'd expect from 1973's "Berlin," since Julian Schnabel just made a movie out of that album.

But don't be surprised if he busts out the "Meditations" track "Find Your Note" -- all 31 minutes and 35 seconds of it -- or a quarter-hour of "Metal Machine Music, Part 1."

David Menconi

Can you bear the pander?

There was more to Richard Nixon than dirty tricks. He was also a gifted panderer who helped launch the age of pop culture politics in 1968 when he deadpanned "Sock it ... to Me?" on "Rowan & Martin's Laugh In."

Since then most presidential contenders have labored to show their common touch by appearing on popular TV shows -- Bill Clinton's sax-blowing performance on "The Arsenio Hall Show"in 1992 remains the gold standard, though first lady Nancy Reagan deserves a special award for appearing on "Diff'rent Strokes," in 1983 (whatchoo talkin' bout, Mrs. Reagan?).

Still, this year is especially star-studded, as the candidates have appeared on so many shows that they may need SAG cards. Hillary Rodham Clinton is practically a cast member on "Saturday Night Live" -- though she's done nothing to compare with John McCain's 2000 "SNL" appearance where he sang Barbra Streisand songs. "Letterman," "The Colbert Report" and "The Daily Show" have let us glimpse the comic stylings of Barack Obama.

The candidates seemed to break new ground at this year's CMT Awards show, where Obama and McCain tried to score tickets from Miley Cyrus. But that was only a high-minded warm-up compared to the segments all three contenders taped for last week's "Monday Night RAW."

Begin with Obama, who said, "To the special interests who've been setting the agenda in Washington for too long (blahblahblah) ... I've got one question: Do you smell what Barack is cookin'?"

McCain countered with, "Looks like Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama want to settle their differences in the ring. Well, that's fine with me. But lemme tell ya: If you want to be the man, you have to beat the man. Come November, it'll be game over."

But the best throwdown came from Clinton, who declared, "Hi. I'm Hillary Clinton, but tonight, in honor of the WWE, you can call me Hill-Rod. This election is starting to feel a lot like King of the Ring. The only difference? The last man standing may just be a woman."

We're convinced: These folks will go anywhere and say anything to prove they're just folks.

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