If it weren't for that sweet, lovable robot trash compactor, Angelina Jolie would've been the queen of the box office last weekend.

Even though Disney and Pixar's latest computer-generated masterpiece "WALL*E" took the top spot, snapping up a whopping $63.1 million at the box office, "Wanted," the hyperviolent actioner starring Jolie, was right behind it, taking in $50.9 million.

I'm sure the idea of the sexiest woman on planet Earth locked-and-loaded, in a perpetual state of cap-busting, is what brought people to the multiplexes. But while that may sound enticing to some, it wasn't necessarily that big of a deal for me. Honest.

I may be the only man on the planet who feels this way, but seeing Angelina Jolie be her deadly, sexy self on the big screen isn't doing it for me like it used to. In my review of "Wanted" last Friday, I mentioned how she "steps into a role where she's such an unattainable, lethal bad girl (when she first appears, it's as if she materialized from another universe) that it's dang near a turnoff."

As the brutal-but-stunning Fox, Jolie plays another in a long line of vicious, vampy vixens whose aggression and attractiveness overwhelm just as much as they stimulate. As a culture, we've basically accepted that Jolie is a special kind of beautiful -- almost otherworldly, if you ask me. (Anytime Entertainment Weekly feels the need to plaster her blemish-free, possibly retouched face on the cover, you know she practically has us in the palm of her hand.) And she knows it, too. In movies, she's confident to the point of being a bit cocky about it. In "Wanted," she plants a slo-mo kiss on James McAvoy's character to shut up his insult-hurling girlfriend -- and it works. When your man gets smooched by someone who looks like Jolie, you've pretty much lost the war. I think a few actresses know all too well about that. (I know, I know -- cheap shot. Bygones.)

But while other actresses' sex appeal (like, let's say, Naomi Watts) can refreshingly sneak up on you, Jolie's appeal often jumps right out the gate and pummels you into submission. Whenever Jolie is on-screen, getting turned off is not an option. You can't even complain that she may come on too strong. And while she appears to be self-aware of her gorgeousness, she's hardly self-reflexive about it. Never have I've seen an actress treat her innate desirability with the utmost seriousness -- and she expects you to do the same. You must accept that you're in the presence of flawless, definitive glamour. And if you don't, there's something seriously wrong with you.

I'm not saying this is all Jolie's doing. This is mostly a collaborative effort, along with the directors who make it their priority to obsessively photograph the actress to the point of fetishism. (Don't even get me started on those boobalicious "Tomb Raider" movies!) But Jolie isn't just hitting us with the outer beauty. Oh no -- she's giving us inner beauty as well. Because Jolie seems to be a celebrity who is angling to be the next Mother Teresa, she has also taken on roles like the wife of a slain journalist in the true-life "A Mighty Heart" and the mother of a missing boy in Clint Eastwood's upcoming "Changeling," that exude the same kind of tireless nobility. So, when she's not playing a dangerous, desirable dame, she's playing a saintly, selfless savior. Either way, audiences should be in a perpetual state of awe.

Some of you might be saying right now that I'm being insecure and simply intimidated by a woman who brings grace, strength, intelligence and irresistible sexuality to every role she plays. And my response is, "Yeah, aren't you?"

Jolie exudes perfection in nearly everything she does, on-screen and off. Even when she exhibits some inkling of a flaw in the characters she portrays, she exhibits it with pitiable earnestness. And how are we, as moviegoers and human beings, supposed to live up to that? We got problems, man! From our broken economy to the inferior junk that gets fed to us via movies, music and TV, we live in a time where imperfection runs rampant.

We may not deserve someone like Angelina Jolie, but she doesn't have to let us know that.

Soundtrack for freedom's day

PL thinks freedom and democracy are very cool. So we gladly light our sparklers and fire up the grill to mark Independence Day. Yet we acknowledge that our more perfect Union, being man-made and all, isn't perfect. That's why we present this short soundtrack for the Fourth; one that acknowledges this great land and suggests some ideas of how it could be even better.

"One Nation Under A Groove" by Funkadelic

Do you promise to funk, the whole funk, nothin' but the funk?

"America" by Simon and Garfunkel

I've gone to look for America

"America" by Prince

Jimmy Nothing never went 2 school

They made him pledge allegiance

He said it wasn't cool

Nothing made Jimmy proud

Now Jimmy lives on a mushroom cloud

"American Girl" by Tom Petty

Well she was an American girl

Raised on promises

She couldn't help thinkin' that there

Was a little more to life

Somewhere else

After all it was a great big world

With lots of places to run to

Yeah, and if she had to die tryin'

She had one little promise

She was gonna keep

"Rhythm Nation" by Janet Jackson

This is the test

No struggle, no progress

Lend a hand to help

Your brother do his best

Things are getting worse

We have to make them better

It's time to give a damn

Let's work together come on

"America the Beautiful" by Ray Charles

Oh beautiful, for spacious skies,

For amber waves of grain,

For purple mountain majesties,

Above the fruited plain,

But now wait a minute, I'm talking about

America, sweet America,

You know, God done shed his grace on thee,

He crowned thy good, yes he did, in a brotherhood,

From sea to shining sea.

You know, I wish I had somebody to help me sing this

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