Good, ghastly in 2008

Along with Santa, sales and twinkling menorahs, the holiday season is marked by lists: the year's best books, movies and songs, the coolest new words, trends and ideas.

Given all that has gone down -- and I mean that literally -- these celebrations feel a little forced right now. 2008 was more bummer than banner year.

When we pop our bottles of deeply discounted imitation sparkling Thunderbird on New Year's Eve, we won't be paying homage to what was, but bidding adieu to an unforgettably forgettable year.

Still, it's hard not to look back. The optimist might note that the dark thunderhead that was 2008 had a few silver linings.

On the world stage, we finally got a little good news from Iraq. Nationally, we witnessed one of the most exciting presidential elections in memory, and spirited races in North Carolina for a U.S. Senate seat and the governor's mansion.

Olympic stars such as the swimmer Michael Phelps and gymnasts Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson provided summer thrills, the Tar Heels won another national championship in women's soccer, and the men's basketball team came close to winning one of its own.

Downtown Raleigh continued to blossom, as new restaurants, galleries, shops and the convention center revived the once dead streets. If only we could afford to enjoy it all.

It's easier to look back in anger, rather than awe, at 2008.

If compiling a list of the year's best is difficult because the pickings are slimmer than Keira Knightley, identifying the worst of 2008 is even harder as there are more nominees than hefty folk at the Golden Corral on a Friday night. The roll call of dishonorees includes:

Worst People: Several slimeballs have made a late charge for this award, including Illinois' expletive-deleted Gov. Rod Blagojevich and Ponzi-scheme financier Bernie Madoff.

But it would be misleading to pin all our problems on a few miscreants -- that monumental mess was made by a cast of thousands. It includes the heads of most U.S. banks, hedge funds and auto companies, the folks behind mortgage outfits Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and their congressional enablers, as well as the geniuses at AIG who forgot that when you sell insurance, you ought to put aside some money to pay the claims.

Locally, let's not forget the "public servants" who botched North Carolina's mental health and probation systems. If we receive confirmation that he actually exists, we'll include the state's invisible man, Gov. Mike Easley, on this list.

Worst Hairstyle: Breaking Donald Trump's tight grip on this award, Blagojevich takes the honors for a coiffure that looks like a cow pie. Maybe you can never be too thin or too rich, but he proved that you can have too much hair.

Worst Art Patron: Patsy Christian, the former CEO of Central Regional Hospital in Butner, takes the prize, proving that her taste in art was as poor as her professional judgment. It's bad enough to misuse patient money to celebrate yourself; it's even worse when the portrait bought with it makes your head look like a watermelon.

Worst Politician: We're tempted to name everyone from the White House on down, but we'll stick closer to home and give the nod to former Sen. John Edwards. His efforts to hide an affair with a former campaign worker and lingering questions about whether he's the father of that woman's child brought his meteoric career crashing back down to earth. While breaking the hearts of many Tar Heel supporters, Edwards proved that sometimes the crime is as bad as the cover-up.

Worst Sheriff: Reminding us that bigotry persists, through his hateful comments about illegal immigrants, Johnston County Sheriff Steve Bizzell ran away with this one.

Worst Criminal: Let's say much of the world branded you a criminal, even after you were acquitted of murdering your wife and her friend. Wouldn't you try extra hard to keep your nose clean? If the idea of an armed robbery flitted through your bean, wouldn't you just say no? Nice going, OJ. Think of every meal in the clink as your just desserts.

Worst Words: We're at a bit of a loss here (no pun intended) because we still can't define this year's winners: Credit-default swap? Mortgage-backed security? Derivatives? Leverage? The tragedy is that the people who were supposed to understand these terms were apparently as clueless as the rest of us.

Worst Trends: From newspapers to literature, it seems that America's appetite for the detailed information that might get us out of our current mess is waning. Ignorance ain't bliss -- it's blistering.

If life is a road, our best news is that approaching sign that reads, "You are now leaving 2008." As long as gas doesn't rocket back to $4 a gallon anytime soon, let's put the pedal to the metal and get that sucker in the rearview mirror.

What's that you say, 2009 might be even worse? I'll take my chances.