It is back to school time for this teacher. During my final week of summer vacation, I took our daughters for their sports physicals, finished a decorating project with my mother and added New Mexico and Arizona to Drew's state quarter collection.

The first marked coins were issued during Drew's second year of life. It was Emily who brought the idea of collecting to our family. Kathryn's interest in the state quarters was purely economic -- the potential of increased value. After we assured her the set would not increase greatly, her interest decreased greatly.

I don't remember exactly when Emily first expressed the interest in collecting the quarters, but as with nearly all other areas, anything Emily enjoyed, Drew followed. His name for her was MeMe, and she was his pal.

The two of them began to hunt for the already issued and current quarters. At the beginning both kept the growing series in banks shaped like a small house for Emily and a large soccer ball for Drew. It was not until 2004 that I found a simple portfolio for both of their collections. I remember spending only $5 and adding it to their other birthday gifts that year. After he unwrapped Frisbee golf discs, Legos and a red football, Drew's most prized possession that year was that state quarter portfolio.

Emily and I helped Drew match the states and dates. In the process I filled their heads with history stories. Drew loved hearing Delaware's story of Caesar Rodney on horseback galloping to make the vote for Independence.

Kathryn and my husband joined our efforts in searching for the quarters. I remember looking far into the future with my son as we calculated that at the end of 2008, as he finished the collection, he would enter the fifth grade. Drew's eyes lit and a smile covered his face as he realized, "And you'll be my teacher mom."

Continuing to collect the quarters has helped me stay connected to Drew. Putting New Mexico and Arizona in his portfolio this week vividly brought the memory of that conversation back to my mind. I am a fifth-grade history teacher, and this year, Drew won't be in my classroom. His playground buddies will.

Last year as I taught the Revolutionary War, the Louisiana Purchase, the Oregon Trail, the California Gold Rush and other events, I showed my fifth-graders Drew's quarters. Each state chronicles our exciting and dangerous national history. Drew shared a love for historical study with the rest of us. Kathryn loves Egyptian studies. Emily prefers China. My husband focuses on the Civil and World wars. I've always loved learning the personal stories and names of Americans who affected our nation, but were edited out of most history books. Drew followed my passion as he learned our American stories.

Today, as I prepare to look out at the faces of my fifth-grade boys who experienced the shock and tragedy of seeing their kickball buddy in an oak casket, I hope to help them continue to understand how much death is a part of life. As I recount names of patriots who have passed, I hope to bring to life just how Drew fits into our history. As I tell stories, I hope to grow with these boys and reclaim another connection to my son. I hope they can fill in more of my son's history with me.

On a good day, I'll read Jefferson's, Lincoln's and Roosevelt's documents and speeches to them. We'll understand important words and ideas that have outlasted these men. On a good day, I'll enjoy hearing stories about Drew that they remember. On a good day, I'll take my students through Valley Forge, along the Trail of Tears, and in the walls of the Alamo. We'll understand our national sacrifices even as we learn how to come to terms with our own personal sacrifice.

On a bad day, I'll try to save my tears for home.

And one day before these boys leave my fifth-grade classroom, I'll find Alaska and Hawaii to complete Drew's state quarter collection. That day will be both bad and good.

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