Bar Mitzvah nightmares

Because my sons are spaced a year apart in age, I planned three Bar Mitzvah events in three years. Orchestrating these joyous events involves much work and stress. Even though my youngest son had eight months of tutoring under his belt, he still worried and began to have nightmares about forgetting his Torah portion. While he was having nightmares about forgetting his portion, I was having nightmares about the party-planning aspect of the event. Writing poetry is a wonderful way to reduce anxiety.

My son has nightmares

about standing on the bema forgetting

his Torah portion -

Hebrew letters, trope, and blessings

vanishing through temple walls.

I dream the caterers fail to show

two hundred pairs of eyes glaring at me

in the social hall, wondering why

there are no tablecloths, themed centerpieces,

hors d'oeuvres or drinks.

As a child, I dreamed of nakedness -

arriving at school without clothes

or shoes, not knowing

until my classmates pointed

and giggled.

Recently my teeth have been falling out

from the seams of darkness,

someone told me it means

a loss of self, or a lack of control

I can't remember.

I tell my son these dreams are normal

that our fears tumble and release

beneath the wing of midnight's shadow

and flood us with doubt

upon waking.

I add that if when he opens his lips

on that day, if the words and music

fail to arrive on his tongue, I will open my

own mouth and sing the words for him.