End-of-the-year columns look back. I thought it would be more fun to look ahead. Here are the stories I came up with, for a North Carolina newscast five years from now:

• Clean-up efforts continue in Eastern N.C., amid the devastation of Hurricane Mu 71. 2010, of course, is the first time that hurricane names have gotten as far as Greek letters and numbers. The hurricane smashed hog waste lagoons all over the coastal plain, making many areas uninhabitable. An Army Corps of Engineers spokesman said, "Well, sure, our simulations predicted this. But who thought it would actually happen?"

• On the jobs front, the last textile mill in the Western Hemisphere closed today, in Kannapolis. It will be bulldozed, and replaced by a Wal-Mart. Activists gathered to protest the new superstore, but then said, "Oh, heck with it. We need to do our Christmas shopping and Wal-Mart is selling clothes really cheap!"

• The Triangle Transit Authority submitted to the feds its newest proposal for a rail system. When asked why this proposal might be successful, after the failure of the previous 41 proposals, a spokesman said, "This time, we did something a little different. This time we said, 'Pretty please, with a cherry on top.'" Current plans have the system up and running no later than March 2092.

• The 253rd hearing on the Leandro case has ended. The case was first filed in 1994, on behalf of parents of students from five different counties where school spending lagged well behind the state average. Robert Leandro, then 14, has since graduated from Duke University in 2001. Now 30, Leandro says he is tired of having his name used for what started out as a court case but in recent years has come more to resemble the TV reality show "Cops." When asked about progress in negotiations to settle the case, Speaker-for-life Jim Black looked puzzled, and said, "Yes, I remember hearing something about that case. Do you have any details?"

• President Hillary Clinton -- ha! I just wanted to see if you were paying attention! -- rather, President Schwarzenegger again thanked the American people for the constitutional amendment that had made it possible for him to run for the nation's highest office. The president said American troops were moving quickly toward restoring democracy in Sudan, North Korea, France and Cary. When a reporter tried to ask if the U.S. had perhaps invaded too many places at once this time, the president sneered something about "girlie men" and deployed his eyeball laser.

And, last, the state's first Libertarian governor was finally able to move back into the governor's mansion, after the process for mitigation of black mold was complete. Governor Munger said that the mansion was beautiful but added that there were some disappointments. Apparently, the building only gets basic cable, and Governor Easley had set parental controls to block "South Park" and "Family Guy." The governor has asked for additional SBI personnel to look under the couch cushions to try to find the remote.

And that's the news, Dec. 28, 2010.

(Michael Munger is professor and chair of the political science department at Duke University, and has never shown any ability to forecast the future accurately.)

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