Well, well, well. After years of being ignored by presidential candidates because North Carolina's primary has been scheduled on a date that could be worse only if it followed Inauguration Day, we now find ourselves in the old catbird seat. Yes, indeedy.

Prepare yourselves, Mr. and Mrs. Tar Heelia, to be the subjects of a whirlwind courtship by one Hillary Clinton and one Barack Obama, who find themselves in need of a late-season primary victory in order to try to capture the Democratic presidential nomination. And this is the case even though it's highly likely that Republican John McCain, who has secured the Republican nod, will win the ... let's face it ... conservative state in the general election.

For Clinton and Obama, the point is to get the nomination in order to claim a front-row seat to see how Democrats -- with a Republican president running just ahead of "heat rash" and just behind "the doctor hasn't figured it out yet, but he gave me this cream" in popularity polls -- will find a way to blow the election if that is remotely possible.

OK, we're just sort of kidding there. Kinda.

But we Tar Heels, in terms of our political attractiveness and dateability, have this year gone from duckling to desirable.

Now the phone is ringing. Now the doorbell is buzzing. Obama's been around, and Hillary and Bill are headed in again.

Whatcha bet the candidates' advisers and consultants are putting together briefing books that contain assorted facts and figures about the state, in order that they may carry on intimate, "sincere" conversations with people here? And don't underestimate the importance of these consultants, nosiree. I mean, these are the people from whose ranks sprang the guys who said to ol' Landslide John Kerry back in 2004: "Naw, man, you don't have to say anything. This swift boat stuff isn't going to amount to a hill of beans."

Yes, no matter what the nature of the crowd or the location, the senator from Illinois and the senator from New York will have their North Carolina "prep" ready when they visit us. This could be interesting, as the campaign has turned negative of late:

Hillary Clinton at a NASCAR fan gathering: "Yes, I like Dale Jr., no question about it, but you know, Bill and I used to argue all the time because I was a fan of Jeff Gordon and he liked Kyle (Petty) and I would give him a hard time because ol' Jeff, you know, just has Kyle's number."

Barack Obama: "Again, Senator Clinton is late to the party. My North Carolina friends know the real heroes are Junior, Bobby, Cale and Richard. 'Nuff said."

Clinton at a tobacco warehouse: "We're going to work hard to find new opportunities for tobacco farmers when I'm in the White House."

Obama: "I have fond memories of hanging tobacco as a youth in Hawaii. All those lugs and primings to deal with."

Or, in debate at a barbecue joint, Clinton closes first: "I want to say in closing that I like western style. ... Bill and I had some good 'cue at Bridges in Shelby yesterday, but I also like eastern style such as what we had in Smithfield today. At state dinners, we plan to have both."

Obama then closes: "Ah, Senator. Everyone knows Lexington No. 1 is tops for western, and I must say I prefer Cooper's for eastern. But I noticed, Senator, that you passed on your skins and ordered unsweet tea. That frankly speaks directly to your credibility."

But might we see a tide-turning confrontation right here at home?

The scene, a joint appearance at the State Fairgrounds.

Hillary Clinton, attempting to win last-minute support, invokes matters sacred to Tar Heelia: "My friends, I really think I'm one of you. I pull for the Tar Heels -- and the Wolfpack! I bleed the blue and the red. Roy Williams? My secretary of state. Sidney Lowe? Ambassador to the Court of St. James. Mine will be not a White House, but a Blue House and a Red House. And I would like to say that among my top choices for a vice presidential candidate would of course be your own Governor-for-life Jim Hunt."

Barack Obama's response: "That's all very nice, Senator, and very impressive. I'm sure all these people of North Carolina really appreciate all this flattery. I'm not going to try to match you on that. Instead, I would simply like to introduce to you my running mate, Mr. Andy Griffith."

Hey, hey. we're just kidding. Andy wouldn't run with anyone -- except Jim Hunt.

Hmmm ... you know, maybe this thing's not over yet. ...