In his address to the Democratic convention, presidential nominee Barack Obama, senator of Illinois, urged people to listen closely when he said he would cut their taxes. Stood right there in Denver, and said he would cut taxes.

But it wasn't long before the campaign of his opponent, John McCain, the Arizona Republican, began running stentorian advertisements stating emphatically that Obama would raise taxes. (Apparently, this is because Obama isn't crazy about continuing President Bush's tax cuts for the wealthy, and thus in McCain's interpretation Obama would be raising taxes.)

McCain, trying to portray himself as a long-time "maverick" who has been a man not tied to harsh partisanship, has claimed he will be the agent of change Americans apparently are looking for in this election. Obama's people are now noting McCain's frequent support of President Bush -- a man so unpopular he probably doesn't even get a "Welcome to Wal-Mart" anymore -- and talking about a third Bush term.

Closer to home, North Carolina's U.S. Senate candidates, incumbent Republican Elizabeth Dole and Democratic challenger Kay Hagan, have been soaking the airwaves with rough point-counterpoint ads. Dole hasn't done much, Hagan's supporters say. Ranked so low in effectiveness that, metaphorically speaking, she can't get the famous bean soup in the Senate dining room unless she dishes it herself. Hagan, according to the Dole folks, is another one of those tax-and-spend Democrats and, by the way, she owns oil wells, friends, which is why your gasoline is so expensive.

The bottom line from reports in The News & Observer of late is that everybody's stretching if not slicing and dicing the truth and putting it in a salad so drowned in distortion dressing that it now has been rendered unrecognizable. (A good rule of thumb passed on to me by a cousin who has been a chef is, if you don't know what it is, leave it in the bowl.)

Consider, as we sometimes do, what effect today's current low standards of veracity in political ads -- both those endorsed by candidates and those sponsored by these 727s or 527s or 409s or whatever they are that act independently, wink, wink, of the campaigns -- were applied to the Founding Fathers ...

"My fellow Americans, my name is John Adams, and I sponsored this ad. I feel it is important for you to know the whole truth behind a story that has long been making the rounds regarding Gen. George Washington in an effort to advance his image as a man of honesty. It concerns a cherry tree, and the destruction thereof that is a heinous affront to sensible environmental standards. My friends, cherry tree-gate must not be ignored. By his own admission, the general chopped down the tree, and then owned up to his responsibility when confronted about it. Ah, but before that, we have reason to believe that there was a coverup! Did the general confess only when confronted by the Colonial Enquirer?"

Or ...

"This ad is sponsored by the Loyal Subjects Foundation. Patrick Henry has of late said, 'Give me liberty or give me death!' It's more of the same from these unruly rebels who want you to abandon His Royal Highness, King George III, for the ill-conceived, wild-eyed liberal notion of independence. King George is your protector, and his right to rule is of course not in dispute. He is the one, the only, royal decider. You must be faithful to him and trust in his divine wisdom and ignore these traitorous villains who would have you believe that your king's bold decisions on the handling of foreign affairs are evidence indicative of the whims of the foreign secretary, Sir Dick of Cheney. Preposterous! These left-wing revolutionaries would have you repudiate your king and in his stead replace him with reckless men. One of them, the crown has on good authority, cannot even be trusted with your cherry trees!"

Friends, is it not time to quit the great lipstick debate of '08 (and wasn't Sarah Palin the first one to mention something about lipstick, with regard to pit bulls?) and ignore the screaming meemies on all sides and perhaps get down to the business of, say, how people can keep their homes and their jobs and send their kids to college and maybe at least get a finger or two on the old American Dream brass ring?

In the meantime, we'll continue to research this Founding Fathers era. Word has it some of the signers of the Declaration of Independence encouraged a whispering campaign about John Hancock trying to gain some free advertising for his insurance company.

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