'The Book Club Companion" has a goal: to emulate one of the most successful and evergreen how-to guides around. It would like to tell you what to expect when you're expecting to read a book.

To that end, the author, Diana Loevy, puts on her party hat and pulls out all the stops. She calls for everything from hole punchers (aren't you keeping a scrapbook?) to dog costumes. And she treats any literary experience as an occasion for merriment. Gauche as it might be to bake Marie Antoinette Cake in honor of the French Revolution, "The Book Club Companion" steers the festive reader in that direction.

To be fair, there's no such cake. And Loevy stops short of guillotine party favors. But she advocates flurries of flower shopping in honor of "Mrs. Dalloway," running exactly counter to what Virginia Woolf had in mind about her heroine's quotidian errands. And she is even more dense about celebrating "The Color Purple" in upscale fashion.

This guide is much more comfortable drinking its way through Hemingway as part of the literary experience. Its smartest suggestion, given its way of pairing a cocktail with every classic, is to recommend that book clubs have designated drivers.

Remember reading as a quiet and solitary experience? Forget it. This guide is about books' social aspect and the surprising number of etiquette questions raised by group discussions. What is the role of the host? "Arrange enough seating to accommodate the number of people you expect," Loevy notes helpfully. "Set out napkins, big and small."

How should the host's pets behave? Loevy has enlisted a veterinarian, Dr. Merry Crimi, to point out that when book club members dress up, this is "a ruined experience when you come home with snagged hose, pet hair everywhere and saliva stains on previously clean clothes."

Yes, dressing up is part of the process. And heaven help the club that reads "Zorro." As it is, Loevy recommends "your ermine tippet" for the reading of "Vanity Fair," and blue or gray animal kerchiefs for anything involving the Civil War. She is less helpful when it comes to the actual meaning of such material.

About Michael Shaara's Gettysburg novel "The Killer Angels," she writes: "Don't miss the observations of the Englishman Fremantle as he predicts a southern victory, worships Lee and calls slavery 'a bit embarrassing.' "

Even the historical books cited here are careful to steer clear of serious political content. On the evidence of Loevy's rules for diplomacy, there are enough other reasons for argument. Book clubs have bossy participants. They lock antlers over "Lolita." And they have trouble agreeing about what to read, in which case Loevy's Hollywood-style tactics could come in handy.

She recommends winning others over with the high-concept pitch. For instance: "It's 'The Nanny Diaries' meets 'Cry, the Beloved Country.' "

The book club deity known as "Oprah herself" is the inspiration for much of this procedure. About knitting: Would you knit if Oprah herself were in the room? About book talk accompanied by meals: Oprah herself was a trailblazer for the format. About "Their Eyes Were Watching God," which is quarantined in a special "Black Lit" section of the book: "Oprah presented it, Halle Berry starred in it, now it's time to read it and discuss the real thing."

In addition to this section, there are others devoted to classics, British fiction, noir and memoir. And certain threads run through them all. On the evidence of Loevy's selections, book clubs like coming-of-age stories, exotic settings, family conflict, status seeking and clear, instructive lessons.

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