A lifeline after baby blues hit

Elizabeth Clark is one of those women who does everything well. A ball of energy, she worked as a journalist, then in public relations, landing with one of the most prestigious law firms in the state.

She even had a perfect pregnancy.

But when her child was born, her world was turned upside down. She was struck with panic attacks, bouts of paralyzing fear, and an unrelenting sense that she simply could not handle life as a mother.

On one of her very worst nights, she heard her child giggling and confessed to her dad that she couldn't stand the sound.

She was toying with the idea of suicide when she called the number for the MomsSupporting Moms support group at Rex Hospital.

Anne Wimer, the woman who founded MomsSupportingMoms, now part of a foundation called the Center for Perinatal Emotional Wellness, was the facilitator of the support group the night Clark showed up.

What stunned Clark was that Wimer seemed neither surprised nor disgusted by the stories Clark and the other women told.

"Here, I thought I was crazy," Clark said. "Anne told me those are called 'intrusive thoughts.' She was calm and cool."

Wimer had heard it all before. She'd also lived through it herself, after the birth of each of her own two sons.

Back then -- 13 years ago -- most doctors knew very little about postpartum depression and other perinatal mood disorders.

Wimer's was a classic case. She couldn't eat; despite the profound exhaustion of new motherhood, she couldn't sleep; she had overwhelming fears that something bad would happen to one of her kids.

She spent so much time weeping that she finally went to see her doctor. He asked whether she had any desire to hurt herself or her sons.

When she said no, he told her she had the "baby blues," patted her on the head and sent her on her way.

"That's still the way too many people view this," Wimer noted. "It's either psychosis -- like Andrea Yates who drowned her five children in the bathtub -- or it's 'just' the baby blues."

Wimer started seeing a skilled therapist who prescribed medication to get her through the hormonal and emotional shifts she was experiencing. Most of all, the doctor helped her understand that she was not alone; an estimated 10 percent to 15 percent of pregnant women or new mothers experience perinatal mood disorders of some kind.

When she emerged from her depression and anxiety, Wimer decided she wanted to make sure other women didn't have to go through what she did to get help.

In the decade since, MomsSupportingMoms has helped more than 1,000 women through its weekly meetings at Rex Hospital.

It has helped many thousands more by phone or e-mail.

"Just knowing that you're not the only one helps so much," said Kelly Marin, one of the mothers aided by the group.

Elizabeth Clark was so grateful for the support she received that she entered the training program to be a peer counselor through MomsSupportingMoms.

She also put her old writing and PR skills to work recently, entering Wimer's name in an "extraordinary woman" contest sponsored by Nabisco.

Her entry won.

For more information, visit perinatalwellness.com or call (919) 454-6946.