Bridge player sought depth of learning

Edmund Mendell never wanted his children to memorize what they were taught. He wanted them to learn it, to understand it, to master it.

The night before his eldest daughter, Stefanie Mendell, began her driver's education course, her father sat the family down in front of her little sister Toni's chalkboard. Instead of doling out safety advice, Mendell gave them a lesson on the workings of the internal combustion engine. He wanted Stefanie to know what made the car run before she put her foot on the gas pedal.

"And that was a recurring theme of his -- the importance of truly understanding the fundamentals and not just being satisfied with rote memorization," Stefanie Mendell told those gathered for her father's funeral in late November. Mendell died Nov. 20 at the age of 84.

That intellectual vigor permeated all aspects of Mendell's life. As a student, a businessman, a father, a teacher and a top-ranked duplicate bridge player, he ceaselessly sought understanding and urged others toward it as well.

He earned three degrees and pursued a career as a pharmaceutical and cosmetics executive. That role brought Mendell and his family to Raleigh when he moved the Almay Cosmetics plant from New York to Apex in 1964.

Mendell and his wife, Lois, were longtime members of the Raleigh Bridge Club, where they made a formidable team. Many of the sympathy cards and notes received have been from bridge club members or students who learned math, science or bridge from Mendell. As a retiree, he taught all three.

Stefanie Mendell recalls spending family vacations at the bridge tournaments her parents traveled to play in. She would work as a "caddy," helping players and bringing them coffee. Later her son, Ronnie, worked the bridge tournaments as well.

Duplicate bridge is a challenging, complicated game in which players use a language and a protocol that only insiders grasp. Mendell was ranked among the top 5 percent of bridge players in the nation, attaining the rank of diamond life master.

Matthew Frame, who knew Mendell for 25 years, said that watching the Mendells play bridge together was like watching a seasoned catcher-pitcher team on the baseball diamond.

"They were almost reading each others' minds," he said.

2 strengths as player

Frame said Mendell was a bridge master because he had a keen, scientifically trained mind and because he knew people.

"I would say that Ed was good at the table because he had not only card sense, which comes from the mathematical side of the brain, but he also was pretty good about reading the players."

Bridge players tend to be highly competitive, which can sometimes lead partners to snarl and snipe at one another. Frame said that was never the case with Mendell.

"He had a great sense of humor, a dry sense of humor, and was able to laugh at mistakes that were made at the table," Frame said. "He was a pretty easygoing guy. Nothing really ruffled Ed too much."

His humor softened his intense intellectualism, his daughter said. That must have been how he coaxed his wife into going on their first date after first insulting her profession.

Stefanie Mendell says her father spied her mother sitting on a beach and somehow came to find out that she was a schoolteacher. He began their acquaintance by telling her how little he thought of teachers because they tend to encourage memorization rather than understanding. Then he told her a long story about how the philosopher Rene Descartes outwitted his teacher as a lad.

Six months later, the couple married.

Big topic for little sis

The story of her parents' first meeting was one Mendell had told often. But it wasn't until after her father's death that Stefanie Mendell heard the story of how her aunt learned the facts of life.

Edmund Mendell's parents were conservative Eastern European immigrants. When Mendell was 18 and preparing to leave home for college, it occurred to him that his 11-year-old sister did not know how her own reproductive system functioned and that their parents would probably not explain it to her. So he took her for a walk and spelled it out, making sure that his little sister understood how her body worked.

Stefanie Mendell says that to her aunt it seemed like what any big brother would do to help his sister get a handle on life. His urge to help others understand the world, as always, trumped all else.