The secret to dead, green grass

Lack of irrigation leads to inspiration for painting lawns

The elusive goal of the perfect emerald lawn. Some of us have given up on it. Don't care now. Never really did.

Others, like Adam Gilpatrick, have struggled mightily to get there.

Lately, it has been a losing battle.

But even before the endless stream of 90-plus days -- and, gasp! -- mandatory water restrictions, Gilpatrick could see his green dream turning brown.

"The irrigation system just couldn't keep up," he said.

But Gilpatrick, the owner of a local painting business, got lucky. He had recently painted the home of a guy named Todd Hughes. And Hughes had recently gone in with his brother-in-law to buy Always Green Grass Painting Co.

The name says it all. His business paints lawns green.

Gilpatrick did a little bartering and became one of Hughes' first guinea pigs, er, customers.

Hughes had been having trouble finding a crew, and Gilpatrick was experienced with paint, so they swapped. The Always Green patented sprayer was a snap, Gilpatrick said.

The result is a lawn that looks ... like regular grass.

When I went to Gilpatrick's house, in a nice subdivision off U.S. 401 South, I was expecting to be stopped dead in my tracks by some sort of otherworldly hue that screamed fake.

Instead, it was ... green. More consistently so than the neighbors' yards. But just green.

Gilpatrick was right. Upon close inspection -- quite close -- you can tell that the lawn has had a dye job.

But unlike most dye jobs, this one grows in with the right color -- green -- rather than the one being covered up.

And this one's a whole lot more convincing than Rich Auburn or Light Ash Blonde.

Only when you walk on it do you realize that -- hey, crunch, crunch -- this grass is not as perky as it looks.

The paint, however, does not hurt the grass, assured Kevin Spear, Hughes' brother-in-law and co-owner of the Raleigh franchise.

Spear, a medical physicist from Gastonia who owns several franchises in North and South Carolina, said the paint mixture is nontoxic, environmentally friendly, long-lasting (90 days) and kind to the grass.

It also removes warts, improves your love life and cures nail fungus.

Not really. But Gilpatrick said he did notice that it clears out the bugs in your yard.

Gilpatrick also confirmed that the product went on easily, didn't smell and dried within an hour.

"It doesn't come off on your shoes or clothes," he said.

He lets his little kids play on it without concern.

It's totally safe? I asked Hughes, who has four little kids of his own.

Well, said Hughes, "I wouldn't lick it."

Lick it?

OK.

Hughes originally hoped that Gilpatrick's crews could help with the application of his grass paint. But it didn't work out.

Now Hughes has a crew trained, however, and is lining up his first paying customers.

If Hughes and Spear seem a little behind the eight-ball with the drought, forgive them.

The lawn painting was intended to be a cover for grass gone dormant, and brown, for the winter.

Spear wasn't expecting summertime business until he noticed his neighbors' yards going crispy a little early.

Wacky idea? Maybe. Or maybe it's a solution in a world where the obsession with green lawns borders on shameful as lakes dry up and water use continues to climb.

Having one's lawn painted green isn't cheap. Try $400 to $600 for the average yard.

And it doesn't mean you never have to water. If the grass goes beyond brown to just plain dead, well, Always Green doesn't work miracles. It just covers up sins.