Lucky for mothers everywhere, all that has changed.

Valarie Spaulding Little, of Greensboro, whose son Marcus Hughes will marry Kristen Bell in Durham on July 30, had two simple goals: To wear the color her future daughter-in-law Kristen Bell asked her to wear: cream or ivory. And not to look too matronly.

These days, that's easier than ever.

Two months ago, when she headed to Josette's Bridal on State Street in Greensboro, she hardly gave a second glance at the rack of beige, silver and rose-colored boxy dresses traditionally worn by mothers of the bride and groom.

"Some of those dresses look older than I want to look," Little said.

Instead, she went straight to the back of the store to the rack of vibrant, bright, fun bridesmaids dresses and party gowns that double perfectly for mothers in search of something to show off a little of their personality and style.

Little isn't alone. More mothers these days are wearing back-baring, cleavage-revealing, slinky-fitting dresses without hesitation.

"Today's mother of the bride is younger and more fit than ever before," said Kim Sunshine, a senior fashion editor at the bridal Web site, theknot.com. "And she's showing that off."

Some mothers are even wearing -- gasp -- black for the big day, but not because they don't like the groom.

"They love wearing black because they feel good in it," Sunshine said.

The rules clearly have changed. The fabrics are lighter. The colors are brighter. And all the lines have blurred among bride's dress, bridesmaids dress and mother-of-the-bride and mother-of-the-groom's dress. One of the only rules moms need to follow is to dress appropriately for the time and place of the wedding. That means a more formal look if it's a later wedding and less formal for earlier in the day.

"The rules are becoming much more relaxed," said Diane Forden, editor in chief of Bridal Guide magazine, in New York. "I don't think any mother should have to fade into the background. But I think mothers should wear colors that flatter them and colors they like."

And that's exactly what Judith Bell did -- she's Kristen's mother and wife of Durham Mayor Bill Bell.

She confessed early on in the hunt for a dress that she really hoped to wear pants and a jacket for the big day.

But her daughters Kristen Bell and Anjanee Bell -- Anjanee is acting as the wedding coordinator -- would have none of it. Kristen Bell had already picked out elegant, classically styled long gowns for her 11 bridesmaids and herself. And Judith Bell's dress would carry on that theme.

It didn't take them long to find it. Anjanee Bell spotted the dress on a visit to Alexia's Bridal Boutique in Cary, where they also found Vera Wang dresses for Kristen Bell's bridesmaids.

Tucked away in the far corner of the store, behind all the poufy, lacy, tulle gowns meant for younger brides, was the long, slinky bias-cut dress by Sally Crew, an exclusive wedding-dress designer from Washington state.

The dress was designed to appeal to an older, sophisticated bride who wants a nontraditional dress, said Alexia Joyce, the store's owner. But that didn't stop the Bell women from making it what they wanted: a mother-of-the-bride dress. Kristen Bell wanted both mothers in ivory, a color she decided would complement both her mother's darker complexion and Little's lighter coloring.

The dress is, in a word, stunning. It is strikingly similar to the sexy slip dress Carolyn Bessette Kennedy wore on the day she married John F. Kennedy Jr. Kennedy's dress -- designed by a then-relatively unknown Narciso Rodriguez, who is now a favorite of Oprah and Sarah Jessica Parker -- had a V-neck front. Judith Bell's dress has a cowl neck and a plunging back with crystal-studded ties.

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