Gearino:Forget the Breakfast of Champions. You can keep your Wheaties. Let's talk about the Midafternoon Snack of Champions.

Gearino:Somewhere out there in our little patch of North Carolina is a young blond woman whose hangover may only now be subsiding -- 10 days later.

Gearino:A Hillsborough resident has suggested that a big fiberglass statue of a rifle-wielding frontiersman be given to the N.C. Museum of Art to be displayed on the facility's lawn.

Gearino:The way Bernie Reeves' luck has been running, Fidel Castro will go to that great cigar factory in the sky sometime in the next week.

Gearino:Like any ambitious executive, Nicholas Marriam has the art of networking down cold. Marriam's organization, Nickelby Project Inc., is a shoestring, kitchen-table operation, but it's active in two states and has attracted nationally known investors.

Gearino:As a loyal, responsible citizen of Fuquay-Varina, it is my duty to make this announcement with a straight face: The town's Chamber of Commerce is soliciting nominations for a new community slogan.

Gearino:Last week, I met perhaps the only person in America who isn't what he does. His name is Philip Levine, and he's a soon-to-be-64, almost-retired grocery store stockboy in Raleigh. If you ask Levine what he does, he'll tell you, "I'm a painter."

Gearino:John Sweet, proving F. Scott Fitzgerald wrong, got a second act in life. Now he's even getting a curtain call.

Gearino:President Bush celebrated his 60th birthday last week, and 24 people from the Triangle mailed him a typewritten letter to mark the occasion.

Gearino:One day early last week, a fellow rode his motor scooter to Andrews Open-Air Market and asked: "I can't get a pound of bologna, can I?"

Gearino:Hunter Clemons, who is 11 years old and currently caught in that summertime purgatory between the conclusion of elementary school and the launching of a middle school career, has yet to fully grasp the implications of his star turn in Esquire magazine.

Gearino:Some people pursue second careers, while others have second careers thrust upon them. Last week, I fell into that last category.