I’m not sure when the whole “czar” thing was welcomed into the public lexicon, but I’m not crazy about it. It just sounds goofy and un-American. We don’t have czars in this country. They used to do that sort of thing in Russiaville, am I right? If we’re going for exotic names, why not Wizard? It’s edgy and conveys the same notion that you are the smartest person in the room on a particular topic.
The first time I heard the word “czar” as resident smartypants for the whole country was in reference to our “drug czar,” but now we have czars for all sorts of things, most recently, of course, the Ebola czar.
The name is silly, making me picture Ron Klain coming to every meeting wearing a T-shirt with that creepy Ebola symbol on it. Oh, and tights and a cape, duh.
This can’t possibly have been a career goal for young master Klain when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up.
“I want to be the face of the deadliest and most freak-out-inducing disease of the early 21st century. Or a baseball pitcher. Or an astronaut.”
It’s a tad concerning that the new Ebola czar doesn’t have a medical background but rather is supposed to be “really great at running meetings and stuff.”
If no formal medical training is required for the job of managing a potential pandemic, allow me to toss my hat into the ring as Ebola czarina material. Because, as loyal readers may recall, I hold a TV MD degree based on my many hours of watching “House” and “General Hospital.” As I have stated before, I have watched so many episodes of TLC’s “A Baby Story” that I can quite successfully separate conjoined twins using only a ballpoint pen and some dental floss. Additionally, I have watched “Contagion” three times because plague-riddled Gwyneth Paltrow looks terrible in it, which never fails to turn my frown upside down.
There is a school of thought that we wouldn’t even need an Ebola czar if we had been able to appoint a Surgeon General. But Congress couldn’t agree on one, so we’ve been ignoring the warnings on tobacco products and stumbling around like a blind mule in a punkin patch lacking medical guidance.
This makes me pine for the days of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders with her fabulous chest full of medals that would’ve scared the Ebola right out of you.
Poor Ron Klain, on the other hand, has only a decidedly unflashy suit from Men’s Wearhouse to get him through the most important job in the world right now.
I’m thinking that Ebola deserves to be dealt with by someone who understands how easy it is to go from obscurity in a remote area to worldwide infamy. I speak, of course, of Mama June, recently fired from “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” for consorting with a child molester.
Yep, I think Ebola has finally met its match.