Jimmy Kimmel Fooled Me
09/11/2013 1:00 AM
09/10/2013 3:56 PM
I have been fooled by Jimmy Kimmel. So has every media outlet from CNN to Fox News, who reported the news that a girl caught herself on fire "twerking". It was a good joke, too. You can see his big reveal here on Monday night. I'm just an ordinary columnist who spent a whole morning of my time writing about a silly incident, but what does that say about our mainstream TV news getting news from You Tube? I believed it. It was on the news. Hmmm! So, even though this incident was fake, I'll just go ahead and lecture to the girls born in the '90s because sooner or later, it is bound to happen to a real person. Don't you think?
Girls, Keep Your Booty Off Camera
I was in my 20s in the ’90s. Even though I have young children, I could easily be a mother to a girl born in the ’90s. I get it. This is a time in your life when you have newly found freedom, and the world at your fingertips, literally, with today’s technology.
In my day, the ’90s were a time when cell phones were the size of a person’s head, and we showed our independence by not wearing our granny panties. Victoria’s Secret introduced the thong, and panty lines vanished forever, to the horror of any woman born before the ’60s. But a thong looks pretty tame now next to this new public craze called twerking. I learned recently that twerking was actually introduced in the ‘90s, but I must have been too busy learning the “Boot Scootin Boogie."
Yes, I had to look up “twerking” following the risqué performance from Miley Cyrus, who was born in 1992 by the way, at the MTV Video Music Awards show. I was totally in the dark on this dance move. Old people like me were looking up “twerking” on Google and watching a performance that we would not otherwise have ever seen. I was so curious that I viewed how to twerk from a choreographer online. She’s quite professional and I could see that twerking could tone some thighs in dance exercise. To see how hard it was, I even did it in the privacy of my office based on her instruction. (Go ahead, you can see her tutorial here.)
But let’s talk about the girl next door. Stop twerking on camera to be sexy!
Stop putting your booty on camera.
A poor girl is all over the Internet and mainstream news for trying to give a little “hot” surprise twerking dance via her iPhone to her boyfriend. This girl was doing a sexy little twerking dance for her sweetie, which turned into an upside-down, goofy-looking twerking handstand by the front door. Her roommate came home unexpectedly and opened the door, causing the girl to fall on a glass table with a candle and alcohol on it, and she literally caught herself on fire. (If you must, here is the video. The girl released it herself. Another example of this age group wanting instant fame.) As a parent, I couldn't help, but think of her poor parents. Their daughter has made national news for doing a very stupid thing. It would not be a very proud moment in my house.
Luckily, she’s fine.
Let’s make this short and sweet. Girls, if you twerk in your thongs, keep the cell phone cameras off. It’s really best. Some things are better left in private.
And I'll let you know if twerking does tone your thighs. I'll do that in private, of course.
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