Yes, Heaven is for Real
Like so many, my journey to motherhood was not as I expected it would be.
The outside voices, “When are you going to have children? Don’t you want a baby?” were nothing to be compared with the inside voices, “What’s wrong with you? Barren!”
Then there were the Mother’s Days that passed me by, taunting me, or so it seemed, year after year after year.
Thirteen years later, surprise! I grinned proudly every time that I experienced morning sickness. I ran my fingers over every little baby blanket in sight, the pink ones, the blue ones, the yellow ones … and then abruptly – miscarriage. I was devastated.
My doctor spoke confidently that I would conceive again and although I wanted to believe it, it was difficult to be hopeful and not relive the miscarriage and horrific D&C. I became pregnant again two years later. I made it past the previous date but I knew that something was terribly wrong. The pain was excruciating. I was rushed from the doctor’s office to have an emergency ultrasound and then to the hospital for emergency surgery. My words before surgery, “Please don’t take my baby.”
The outcome was that I was almost three months pregnant. The expired “fetus” was located in my ruptured fallopian tube. Doctors filed into my hospital room one by one exclaiming, “We have not seen such a large ectopic pregnancy!” “You are a strong woman”
A few months later, fully recovered, I had settled into a very happy life. Then it happened. I was not in any particular state of mind on that sunny afternoon. I was just resting in bed feeling very content. The ceiling parted, the clouds parted and I saw a beautiful, bright vibrant place, full of the familiar but with enhanced sounds and colors. Two small children played joyfully together. One child skipped and jumped and the other quietly smiled.
I watched them as they made their way to my right. I remember saying, “Oh, what cute little children!” These two precious ones had reached their destination and before jumping up on His knees they said, “I love you Mommy! I love you Mommy!” and He, Jesus said, “I love you Wanda.” They jumped down from Jesus’ knees and headed back down the riverbank. I whispered, “You know me.” They stopped, “We love you Mommy. We have to go now.”
Whether through miscarriage, abortion, SIDS, accident or by another tragic circumstance, your child loves you and does not blame you. Your child is not lost, but alive, watching and waiting …
Happy Mother’s Day