The month of August is unique in several ways.
First of all, it’s the only month with two “u’s” in its spelling.
But that’s not the really intriguing thing. August is also the only month with no nationally-celebrated holidays in it.
January has New Year’s Day, February has Valentine’s Day, March has St. Patrick’s Day and sometimes Easter. Check it out. Every month has at least one holiday.
But poor old August. It sits there alone with nothing to be happy about. August marks the beginning of the school year in most places. There are very few children cheering that fact.
In North Carolina, at least, August is hot and humid as blue blazes. Just think about walking outside. I promise you’ll break out in a sweat.
And August couldn’t be a short month, could it? No, you’ve got to serve out the full 31 days in the month of August. Why could August have been, say, in February. They we’d only have a 28-day (29 in leap years) holiday drought.
There are, as you can probably guess, any number of observances held in August, though they don’t rise to the level of a national celebration like, say, July 4th. Perhaps the government office of Widgets and Whatnots should consider elevating one of those observances to national status. That way bankers could have at least one day off in August. And government workers could enjoy another day off, something we’re sure they need as hard as they work the other 261 days they work (less all the other big holidays they get, of course.)
So what are our options you ask? Good question. Here are a couple ideas that have merit:
Southpaws celebrate Left-handed day in August. That’s a great way to recognize the achievements of notable lefties and also to tip our hand to an unexplained oddity. Full disclosure, I’m left-handed and I’d love for you to celebrate me.
In a world where so many things seem random, you’d think people are as likely to be left-handed as right, but it’s certainly not so.
Only about 10 percent of people are lefties. It’s unusual enough that people invariably comment on my left-handedness when they see me writing. In fact, my own, dear old dad once came home from a business trip with a souvenir for me. The baseball glove he brought me was for a righty.
If you don’t like the idea of a holiday where such a small group of people are honored, here’s another idea. August 8 is apparently Senior Citizens Day. Lots of people reach senior citizen status.
Even some 40-year-olds I know have already started getting membership invitations from AARP. But for our purposes, if we’re really gonna do this holiday upright, we need to celebrate real senior citizens. You can argue about what that boundary is.
For some, 65 is the traditional retirement age. Maybe that’s fair. But is 65 really old? Maybe we need to celebrate people who are at least 70. Or maybe the rule has to be that only senior citizens with a head full of gray hair qualify for our respect and admiration on Senior Citzens Day.
Here’s a final nominee: Aug. 15 is Relaxation Day. That seems like a great reason to have a holiday. After all, that’s what most of us do when we have a day off. If everyone in the whole country just stopped doing work for a day it might adversely impact the gross domestic product, but it doesn’t have to be all bad, especially if we suspend the economy for a day of relaxation.
Whatever we celebrate, I think it’s high time we help out poor old August. The month is long and hot and we all need a reason to party.